In the dark… (7m3w)

Long lashes laying gently on cherubic cheeks.  That little rosebud mouth, lips occasionally twitching in memory of a bottle as I blot the remnants of a milk chin with an old diaper.  Your tiny hand splayed open, fingers finally still in their continual quest to feel everything around you, your arm draped across my chest.  Your congested little nose gives you the tiniest snore, a faint echo of your father’s rumble down the hall.

It’s almost 2:30 in the morning on a (now) Thursday morning.  I have to be at work in 6 hours.  But just let me rock you a little longer before I ease up out of the recliner with practiced silent effort and gently lay you back in your crib.  Just one more kiss on your warm little forehead, just between your eyebrows (when did they finally grow in, I wonder?)  I miss full, uninterrupted nights of sleep.  But I know that eventually I won’t be awakened by a cry in the middle of every night – and I think I shall miss our time here my son, alone in the dark.

Thankful Heart (7m2w)

I’m starting my weekend with a thankful heart.

  • Thankful for my beautiful son who does an impressively loud pterodactyl impression.
  • Thankful for my husband whose face lights up as much as my son’s when they see each other.
  • Thankful that my husband and I are both gainfully employed.
  • Thankful for my Aunt Nita, best friend Lisa and her husband Mike for gifting us with the crib, mattress and sheets that Kieran sleeps on every night.  He’s filling that crib so much more – it seems to be shrinking now!
  • Thankful for my brother Oin, his wonderful girlfriend Cynthia, our friends Sibyana & Cheri, and my co-worker Kate for all of the bits and pieces that make up Kieran’s bathtime.  He sits up in the tub and splashes while laughing his little head off now!
  • Thankful for Kieran’s Great Grandmother Nonny for his stroller, in which we took a walk around the neighborhood this evening because it was just too lovely an evening to go directly inside.  Kieran loves to sit in the fully reclined stroller and watch the world go by.
  • Thankful for my Philadelphia friend Kelly for all the care packages of baby stuff, including the (currently in use) baby food freezing trays and the baby food cookbook so I have some idea of what I’m doing as I make the fresh baby food Kieran is enjoying these days.
  • Thankful for another weekend to spend with my boys.

Happy Half Birthday (6m)

Six months of Kieran.  Doesn’t seem possible that it’s already been six months.  And yet to look at this little person (for that’s truly what he’s becoming – a little person) it seems that he’s always been part of our lives.

He rolled over tonight.  He’s done it a time or two before, on accident.  But tonight he and I were playing on the floor with his blocks and I put him on his stomach with his blocks just out of reach to see what he would do.  It took him several tries, and a lot of red-faced effort – but he rolled over!  He had a smile on his face the whole time and when I clapped and cheered and covered his face with kisses, his squeal echoed in the hallway.  I put him back on his tummy to see if he’d do it again – and he did, almost immediately!  So proud of our boy.

Our life is so radically different from how it had been.  It’s still overwhelming, and we’ve only just begun.  There’s still near-daily tears for me, usually as I’m putting him to bed.  I cannot believe we’ve been blessed with this amazing little person.

Life is gonna get a bit more complicated now that Paul and I are both working full time.  Daycare is gonna take some getting used to for all of us, but we’re confident that we’ve made a good choice for Kieran and it’s up to us to make the best of the reality of a two-income family.  We’ll just look forward to spending time together as a family that much more.

Happy half-birthday, my little son.  You are the light of our lives.  We love you so very, very much.

Christmas Miracle & the End of an Era (5m4w)

What a week this has been!  Kieran’s first Christmas, surrounded by family.  I took some vacation time off work to combine with paid holidays to give us some time together as a family these last few days, and most of next week.

Turns out it’s a good thing I took the time off this coming week – because Paul won’t be home with us for a good portion of Monday – Wednesday.  You see, Paul will be AT WORK.

That’s right: PAUL GOT A JOB!!  A FULL-TIME JOB!!

The short story is that these folks came to Paul because of a tip from a VERY unexpected vector, based on work Paul had done while at the Venetian.  His photography and video (shooting & post-production) skills, his IT knowledge, and his ease when working with ‘talent’ are all coming back to serve him once again.  The job is full-time, Monday through Friday, at decent pay.  We are THRILLED.  (The “interview” was on Christmas Eve, with one day notice.  Not that it was an interview, really.  More like: “Here’s what we want you to do and here’s what we can pay you for it.  Does that work for you?”)  Paul will be working a couple of half-days this week to get up to speed.

But what this means is that Monday January 3rd marks the end of an era.  Daddy Day Care is closing, and Kieran will be spending his days in a daycare center.  Paul and I are doing our best to get right with this as quickly as possible.  We knew this day would come eventually.  It was supposed to happen much earlier.  But it doesn’t make it any easier.

We know that Kieran will do wonderfully at daycare.  He’ll probably learn to nap.  He’ll be surrounded by teachers who will play with him and hug him and make sure he’s well taken-care of.  He’ll learn sign language, and sharing and playing with others.  He’ll get over his burgeoning stranger anxiety.  All of this is to the good.

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