Positive (5w)

I took a pregnancy test this morning. It was positive. Like immediately there with the plus sign.

I cannot believe it. I'd finally gotten myself to a place of acceptance that we weren't gonna have kids. I was pretty OK with it. Was rationalizing it with "at least we can take vacations and go wherever we want" kinda stuff. Our upcoming 10th anniversary seemed kinda… like a finish line. Like it would be OK to stop 'trying' after our 10th anniversary.

But I didn't have anything like a period in October. And my boobs have been sore for like 3 weeks – which I assumed was leading into a period – but nothing happened towards the beginning of this month either.

I was mentally berating myself when I took the test this morning…. why was I wasting money on pregnancy tests again? I'm just fat and broken.

Well, apparently I'm not broken.

I went in and woke Paul up. It wasn't quite 8:00am yet. But I couldn't just go lay back down. He doesn't really believe it. He thinks that a $10 test from the drugstore is gonna be wrong more than it's right. I'm not bothering to try to convince him otherwise. I'll be calling my doctor's office as soon as they open tomorrow morning and seeing if I can go in for a blood test and maybe an ultrasound to confirm things, since I honestly have no specific recollection of *when* I had a very short period at the beginning of September.

But um yeah. I'm pregnant.

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