I'm out of work at 1:00 today. 90 minutes from now. I'm pretty sure these next 90 minutes will take a day and a half.

I'm excited and worried and on edge and a little concerned that I'm gonna get yelled at for something. I'm sure I need to eat better, but even when I'm eating completely appropriate things (like an egg mcmuffin for breakfast) my sugars are still too high. So I imagine they'll up my insulin today anyway. I feel like I had better control on the pills – but we knew this was going to be a work in progress, and that pregnancy makes insulin not work as well anyway, so the usual dosages and rules kinda go out the window.

Paul had a meeting with HR today (even though he's got the day flexed to be able to come with me this afternoon) about benefits. Upshot is that we'll be utilizing the FSA that the Venetian has to help offset some of the medical expenses for next year. But stupidly, there's a cap at $1000. We were looking to put in something more along the lines of $2400. But I guess any savings is better than none.

They had no info for him to confirm how the insurance works – so I'll be calling back again to help get that explained to me. Supposedly all we'll have to pay is $1000, since that's the personal deductible every year. But there's some confusion as to how we don't end up paying the doctor $1000 and still getting a bill from the hospital too. So yeah.

Paul has the option to take FMLA, but he has to make a separate appointment to talk to an FMLA person about that. HR couldn't/wouldn't give him any information on that today. We're assuming that it's all unpaid, except for whatever flex time he has built up. Looks like we'll both be hoarding our paid leave for a while, since I'm in the same boat, except without FMLA. We won't be able to afford for me to take off any time unpaid, so I'll need every last hour I can save up.

And then there's daycare. There's a daycare center on the Venetian property, and we think it's subsidized? Not sure exactly how that works – or even if we'd want to go that route. I mean, subsidized day care would be nice, but that's a decent distance away from me, and it's not easy to get to inside the building. There's a 24/7 daycare right next to my office that I'll prolly end up checking out – that would be terribly convenient to be able to walk next door to feed the kid or whatnot. Altho there's a chance that I'll be able to bring the kid into work with me. My agency had it's first baby in October, and mom will be coming back after the first of the year. Currently she's been granted permission to bring her baby into the office with her. So we'll see how that works out, and if that policy is still in effect when it's my turn.

So much to think about and work out… but right now all I'm really concerned about is seeing and hearing a heartbeat at 2:00 this afternoon. Without any MAJOR pregnancy symptoms, there's kinda a lot that has to be taken on faith right now. And I'll admit: my faith is a little shaky so far.