The vivid dreams that apparently go along with pregnancy are getting annoying. I feel like my brain is getting tossed in the dryer with a load of very colorful socks. My dreams are VERY fast paced, repetitive, and making me anxious. I'm not waking up feeling particularly rested at all. I hope this symptom passes.

I'm really itching to tell people. But we still feel like we can't, because we haven't been able to get a hold of Cassie. Paul really wants to tell her face to face, or at least not in a chat window. The 9-hour time difference to Belgium and her busy schedule has really made it very hard to get in touch with her. I'm worried for Paul. I can see how much it means to him to tell her in person, but I'm afraid her reaction is going to be underwhelming after all this build-up. I think that would crush Paul. She gets here on Wednesday this week (I think) but with his work schedule having him at work until at least 8:00 if not 11:00 every night this week, I don't think he'll be able to get together with her for several more days.

I'm feeling something I haven't felt in a long time, but I guess it shouldn't surprise me, really. When I was planning my wedding, it felt like no one wanted to hear about our plans – which is kinda a known thing. No one cares as much about your wedding as you do, naturally. And the same goes with the album afterwards, it's like pulling teeth to get anyone to let you show it to them. People think it's neat that you are getting/got married, but they don't really care past that.

I assumed that pregnancy would be different. Especially a first pregnancy. But really, with the exception of one or two people, I get the feeling that I need to be keeping quiet about all this so as not to annoy anyone. That no one cares that Paul and I are finally having a baby. Maybe it's because I'm posting here (which is first and foremost MY journal, to record the experience for me) but only two people have sought me out in the last two weeks to ask me how I'm doing. Meh. Maybe it will be different once more people know. Or maybe once I'm further along and there's more for Paul and I to do, I won't care anyway. I just kinda thought it would be a bigger deal to some people.

I guess I'm just melancholy today.