Dr. Happy’s reality check (27w1d)

I had my regularly scheduled appointment on Wednesday morning, the last of my 3 week appointments. It was a simple appointment, no bloodwork, no ultrasound to speak of, nothing major – just checking in.

First the good news: I gained 3 pounds since my last appointment. I was TOTALLY expecting more, because I feel so much bigger. But Paul concurs with his mom that apparently I’m shrinking in other places. As he (ever so lovingly) put it, I’m “less flabby” than before. I get what he meant though – places that were flabbier are – well…. full of baby now, so they’re filled out. (I’ve got stretch marks to prove it!) I was THRILLED to hear that I’d only gained 3 pounds. I like to think that I’m making good choices with what I eat and portion control – but it’s so hard to tell when I’m SO farking hungry, and when I keep gaining weight, regardless of what I eat. So yay me. I’m up a total of 12 pounds so far. Everyone is happy about that. The little guy should start putting on an average of a half pound a week here soon – so steady continued weight gain is expected.

My blood pressure was a little on the high side when I first got into the exam room, but when taken again at the end of the appointment was down to a happy-making 128/83. So the meds are still working as they should, which is awesome.

We didn’t really get a look at the little guy. The nurse this time was all business and only even remembered to turn on the speakers so we could hear the heartbeat after she’d already found it. The stallions were galloping at 142 bpm.

Dr. Schwartz was pleased to see that my blood sugars were already coming back down now that my stress level has reduced quite a bit. Between finishing off the horrific, unending server install/migration at work (I worked 4 weekends in a row…. I’m still trying to catch up on rest) and Paul finding a contract programming gig – my stress has gone down a lot. My blood sugars are almost back into the happy range they were 5 weeks ago. Dr. Schwartz upped my evening regular insulin by 2 units, so nothing major. He and I are still expecting to see more insulin resistance as the pregnancy progresses, so I’m prepared for more insulin bumps.

But then Dr. Scarypants arrived and started preaching. Basically what Dr. Schwartz told us is that now that I’m in my 3rd trimester (which started either today or a week ago, depending on who you ask) that the gloves are off. Dr. Schwartz doesn’t want to scare me, but he felt the need to reinforce the fact that I *am* a very high risk pregnancy. And while I’ve done fantastic so far, the likelihood of me getting all the way through this pregnancy, let alone with no complications is slim to none. He believes I *will* get pre-eclampsia – it’s simply a question of when and how severely. He reminded me that there’s nothing I can do to prevent pre-eclampsia, and there’s nothing I’ve done wrong that will make it happen. But someone of my size, first pregnancy, diabetic and hypertensive just *will* get it. Nothing you can do but pray for a miracle.

So now we live with goals. The first goal is to get to 30 weeks. Then to get to 32 weeks. Then to get to 36 weeks. And after 36 weeks – he could deliver me anytime. Dr. Schwartz warned me that he expects to put me on modified bed rest at some point which means I’ll need to modify my work schedule – if I’m able to go to work at all anymore. I may be reduced to working from home, which severely limits what I can do. (It’s hard to do Accounts Payable when the invoices have to stay at the office, ya know?) He didn’t rule out the possibility of needing to hospitalize me towards the end. (That’s my idea of hell there, kids.)

So for now we keep doing what we’re doing. Taking it as easy as possible, treating myself and baby well, eating as well as I can manage, exercising moderately (although he strongly cautioned me against over-doing it even by a little bit) and trying to stay calm. Each day my blood pressure stays below scary levels is one more day my little man gets to cook in his first apartment.

I’ll be honest, the thing that freaks me out the most is being told I can’t work. We cannot afford to not have me working, especially for weeks before the baby comes. That will just eat into the meager paid leave reserves I have. (Yes, my work is willing to adjust my schedule as necessary – but seriously, I can’t do half my duties from home.) But stressing isn’t going to help anything, so I try not to dwell on it.

I’m back to two week appointments now, and will drop down to one week intervals after 30 weeks or so. So next appointment is April 28th. Then I’ll have one right before my shower – which is in less than a month!

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