Author Archives: Sarah

Brute! (7w)

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OMG, it’s not our imagination! In the last 15 days, Kieran has gained 28 ounces – 1.75lb!!! He’s been eating like crazy, and it shows! In the last couple of days, we’re finding that the footie sleepers that fit fine last week are too short now, Kieran is filling them out so well. He’s fine in his newborn-sized onesies, pants and rompers – but he can’t fully stretch out his legs in his footie sleepers anymore! (We can barely strap the newborn sized disposable diapers on him anymore. Same goes with his preemie-sized cloth diapers!)

I weighed him today at the lactation consultant’s office, using their very precise scale. Paul and I are going to try to get his length tonight – I think he’s grown taller too. I can’t believe how BIG he looks now, especially compared to the pics we took in the hospital.

I’m boxing up the stuff that Kieran is outgrowing to give to Paul’s sister, who is due at the end of September. It’s harder than I expected to box up Kieran’s clothes like this. We’re happy that Cassie will get to use them, but folding up our favorite outfits from our son’s first weeks of life… it’s hard to do so immediately after he’s outgrowing them. I’m saving the striped preemie-sized onesie that Kieran wore in the hospital. I don’t know that we’ll save something from each other size… but it’s tempting.

Tonight, I’m continuing to re-do Kieran’s dressers. I was a little over eager with their organization when I filled them up a week before going into the hospital. Makes it kinda hard to know what sizes are what, and makes putting away laundry a PITA. Now that I’m removing nearly all the newborn clothes, it will be easier to get at his various types of clothing in his current size of 0-3 or 3. Stuff that he won’t be wearing for another 4-6 months doesn’t have to be in the dresser yet, methinks.

My little boy is a little brute!! But man, he’s so cute! Paul and I are struck several times a day with just how precious this little guy is. He’s becoming more alert and aware of his surroundings every day – so interacting with him is getting more and more enjoyable. We haven’t had a smile yet, but we’ve had cute grimaces. (A silver lining to the gas that plagues our little man no matter what formula we have him on.)

Kieran is starting to hit some development milestones too – like reaching out for things, grasping and not letting go. He frequently holds on to my shirt or finger while he’s eating. He reaches out for, grasps and pulls off my glasses at least once a day now while we’re playing. (I don’t mind cleaning my glasses when the fingerprints are SO TINY!) He’s able to hold his head up really well – which I think comes directly from his dislike of being burped. I put him on my shoulder so he can rear back his little head and tell me off directly into my face & ear. Good exercise for my little man.

It’s still very much an adventure, but I think Paul and I are doing a pretty good job. Paul is fantastic with Kieran, which makes it a little easier to contemplate going back into the office in three weeks or so.

Follow up on Breastfeeding II (5w5d)

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The struggle continues…

My supply continues to dwindle. The herbal supplements don’t seem to help (neither the Mother’s Milk Plus nor the Fenugreek seeds) although I don’t know that I’m taking enough of the Fenugreek seeds because I don’t think I smell like maple syrup.

I’m averaging less and less with the pumping every day. Sometimes I’ll get over an ounce (30ml) combined, but like this morning, I got just over 10ml combined. That is SO frustrating, let me tell you. That’s a lot of time being tied to that pump for so little return. I’m working to increase the number of times I’m pumping though, in the hopes that I can bounce back.

Kieran is basically refusing the breast all the time now. Having to give him thickened feedings because of his acid reflux has necessitated using an even more open bottle nipple, which requires even less effort than a regular bottle nipple for Mr. Lazy Nurser. We give him the occasional un-thickened bottle with the tightest nipple we have just to remind Kieran what it should be like. We can tell that frustrates him. So when he’s offered the breast (even when I’m nearly engorged, so I know he could get a fair feeding outta me) he just fusses and squirms and cries and won’t nurse. We’ve tried giving him a half feeding with a bottle and then offering the breast when he’s not ‘starving’ – but Kieran is convinced that he’s starving until he’s full.

It’s disappointing on several levels.

  • I was SO INCREDIBLY looking forward to nursing Kieran. The bonding, the special time, the perfect nutrition that only I could provide, the easy-clean-up diapers.
  • The Cost. Even using some of the most inexpensive formula we can find (currently Target’s house brand “up & up” Partially Broken Down version) is gonna add around $60-75 a month to our budget that already doesn’t quite cover everything. And as he grows, that figure will only increase. (I can’t imagine if we had to stay on one of the name brands. The Target stuff runs ~$.46/oz whereas the cheapest you’ll find Simalac is ~$.89/oz at Costco or Amazon.)
  • Formula diapers are not as pleasant as BF diapers were. Just sayin’.

On the bright side though, Kieran is gaining weight like a champ. He’s still right at the very bottom of the growth percentage charts – but that mostly has to do with the fact that he was 3 weeks early and such a tiny peanut to start with. ~8lb is teeny for a nearly 6 week old baby. But then again, ~8lb for a nearly three week old baby is still small too. He’s gaining ~1oz a day, which is a very healthy growth rate – so his pediatrician is happy with that.

Truth be told, we’re a little concerned about him gaining weight too fast with the thickened formula – but we’re carefully watching Kieran’s signals and feeding him when he actually tells us he’s hungry, feeding him a set amount (currently 3oz + 1T of oatmeal cereal) and waiting to see if he asks for more 10 minutes later. Sometimes he does (and gets another 1-1.5oz + cereal) and sometimes he doesn’t. The oatmeal cereal added to his formula adds the nutrition/calories equivalent to another ounce of formula. So he’s getting what he needs to grow at the rate that works for him.

I’m bummed that Exclusive breast feeding hasn’t worked out. (Not devastated though, which is a VAST improvement over my mental status for the first 2-3 weeks of this adventure.) But I’ll keep trying with the pump, which we have rented through September and see how it goes. I’m comforted by knowing that any breastmilk Kieran gets is better than none, but that regardless he’s growing well and thriving.

Surrounded with Love (5w2d)

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As we settle into the daily routine of having a baby, it’s amazing the things we start to take for granted. The tools and gadgets that make life so much easier right now – things that we never would have given a thought to before.

We are so blessed to have friends and family who take an active interest in Kieran’s life – even before he was born! We were (and still are) blessed with gifts from family and friends throughout the pregnancy, not just at the shower – which was overwhelming in a very good way. The little gifts keep coming now, and are hugely appreciated as we discover new things that are required to keep Mr. Kieran happy and healthy.

A huge example of that right now: Kieran is getting slightly thickened feedings now due to his acid reflux – 1t of oat cereal per ounce of formula or EBM. The bottles we have for him (Born Free) don’t really support thickened feedings – which require a different type of nipple. Fortunately, Kelly (Gnoam in the comments) had just sent us yet another care package of hand-me-downs from her 9 month old daughter Kara – which included four 5oz Avent bottles. The Avent system has a FANTASTIC variable flow nipple for thickened feedings. So Kelly’s hand-me-downs saved us from having to go purchase other bottles for these next few months of feedings for Kieran. So HUGE thanks to Kelly (and hubby Peter and Ms. Kara) for the great hand-me-downs.

But even more than that – when I look around Kieran’s room I see what he cannot. That every minute he is surrounded with reminders of how much he was loved before he even arrived. That he is (literally) cradled with and wrapped in love from people who have never met him. Aunt Nita provided his crib; Auntie Lisa & Uncle Mikey provided the mattress and sheets he sleeps on; Donna, Lisa, Kym, Becky, Lisa & Tia, Aunt Cassie & Uncle Kurt, and Grammy Jeanne provided the stuffed friends who keep watch over him as he naps. Every time we change Kieran, we’re grateful to Great Grandma Cat and Grampa John for the wipes warmer which makes all the difference in the world to Mr. Sensitive Tushy. Bathtime is made possible by Uncle Oin & Aunt Cynthia who completely stocked our cabinets with baby necessities, and by Caroline who passed on her baby bath now that her little Hannah has outgrown it.

And that doesn’t even start with the clothes!! Admittedly, nearly everything he’s worn at this point was provided by Mama & Daddy (or Kelly again with the hand-me-downs in newborn sizes) but Paul and I look ahead with a bittersweet glance to the future when Kieran can wear outfits provided by everyone – from adorable onesies, to rompers and safari outfits and teeny tiny smoking jackets. (I don’t think any of us expected me to have such a tiny little peanut!) But the flannel blankets that we received from so many people have been put into daily use – as well as the burp cloths! (Admittedly, I wish the burp cloths weren’t so needed now – the reflux really made those a necessity.) Once he’s able to wear the outfits that fill his dresser and closet – we’ll think of the friends and family who gifted him with such cute togs every time we change his clothes!

The books we’ve been gifted with right before I gave birth are being put to use already – not that Kieran has much of an attention span… but it’s nice to have something to read to him.

So thank you, again, to everyone. The love and support that you have shown Paul and I since we announced our news last Thanksgiving to our family and to the world at Christmas; the care and concern and interest shown during the roller coaster ride of my pregnancy; the generosity shown as we transformed our house into a haven for our son; and the fact that you’re even reading this now… it means more to us that we can say. Kieran has no idea how lucky he is.

I need to be better about this – Cardiologist (5w)

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I really need to find the time to write out the whole birth story and our experience in the hospital… Paul kept good notes for me of what went on so I can construct it from memory and notes, but there just doesn’t seem to be time to sit down and write it out! (I’m writing this while pumping, thanks to my hands-free bustier thingie.)

As some of you may know, I was born with a birth defect in my heart. (A Ventricular Septal Defect, or VSD to be precise.) Because of this, and the fact that I was on an ACE inhibitor when I got pregnant, Dr. Schwartz ordered that a fetal echocardiogram be done while I was pregnant (remember? I talked about it.) which necessitated a follow up echo before we left the hospital.

The echo was done on day 2, I think. A tech came to the room with the machines and did the tests on Kieran there in the room. She didn’t tell us anything, but said that the cardiologist would come talk to us the next day after he reviewed the results. The cardiologist did come chat with us and explained that while Kieran definitely doesn’t have the birth defect that I was born with (WHEW!) that there was a murmur and a thing or two that wasn’t 100% on the echo. Basically it’s nothing to be worried about, just little flaps inside his heart that hadn’t closed all the way when his heart and lungs kicked into gear, and a “bypass” that hadn’t closed itself off as expected.

So today was the 1 month follow-up to the hospital echo to see if things had healed up like they should. The answer is a qualified “yes” on all accounts. Things are healing, but they’re not *healed* yet. The murmur is still there. The holes and latent byways are still there, but smaller. The cardiologist says there’s nothing to worry about at this point, that this is all very common and that things *are* healing up, so there’s no reason to think that they won’t continue to heal. The Pulmonary Artery is a little narrower than he’d like to see, but he says that he sees it all the time and usually they strengthen and widen out on their own. (I don’t have my notes at hand while I’m pumping here… otherwise I’d give the technical terms.)

We have an appointment to return in three months (Nov 16) to make sure everything has healed up the way it should. Until then, we’re not worrying about anything. Kieran isn’t showing any signs that these little issues are bothering him, he’s gaining weight like a champ and is cute as hell: so life is good.

On a side note: it was nifty to see ultrasounds of Kieran from the OUTSIDE. :)

Scene from a typical evening (28d)

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[setting: a dimly lit living room, with the TV on in the background]

Mama: (to sleeping baby in her arms) [Tearful mushiness about how much he’s loved and what a life-changing miracle he is. Blathering continues about how beautiful he is, and how Daddy is going to be his best friend]

Kieran: [faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart]

Oh the joys of having a boy. I’ve tried to explain to him that the time wherein farting and burping are encouraged is finite, so he better enjoy it while he can.