Paul & Sarah

I just strapped a 5lb bag of flour to my chest. I was a dork and didn’t grab a new 10lb bag of sugar at Costco. (I was too distracted by the Carter’s stuff, again…)

But for a first time tryout of my new SleepyWrap, I’m hella impressed. It’s gonna take some practice to get it on by myself, but it’s not hard. It ties in back on me, but ties in front on Paul.

I’m gonna keep practicing, and looking for heavier things to stick in there. Paul seems pretty interested too. I showed him pics of men wearing these wraps from their website, and he totally gets why I need to get comfortable with it. (I hurt my elbows catching a falling computer several years ago. As a consequence, I can’t carry anything more than a few pounds for more than a few minutes without significant pain – and when I’ve carried something for too long, I loose my grip and drop it with no warning. So using wraps is gonna be a necessity for me – I’m terrified of dropping the baby.)

Now I just gotta figure out what other colors we want. I’m thinking orange or brown or gray to go with the dark green I already got. OR, there’s several other styles of carrier (like ring slings or MeiTeis) that could work for me too. WAY too many options, but it’s fun to get to choose!

I am half-way through my pregnancy. Yes, 20 weeks is the usual half-way mark, but seeing as I’m not going to go to a full 40 weeks – I did the math and the magic day is today! (currently Dr. Schwartz is aiming to induce me a week early on July 10.)

There is SO much to do. We’ve made a little progress, but between Paul’s work schedule and me getting totally sick (and now Paul is sick) it’s been hard to get things done. Plus, while I’m not exhausted like I was during my firxt trimester, I am pretty beat after a full day at work, so I don’t have much left after getting home, doing homework and getting dinner made. But I have faith in us.

We’re hopefully picking wall colors for the nursery and baseboard colors for the house. I think once we have the paint purchased and in-house it will lend a new sense of urgency to getting the office emptied and getting the guest room cleared out.

But… Um, yeah. I’m half-way through this. Hopefully that means that I’ll start feeling something soon. I’ve felt a couple of flutters, but I’d like to start having poking contests with my kid in the near future.

We are now the proud owners of two bumpers and a baby comforter. They’re sitting on the green couch in the front room, and they look SO WEIRD to be in the house.

I went to Target today looking to buy a set of the blankets or something from the nursery stuff we picked out so we could figure out paint colors this weekend. But what do I see on the shelf? Both the bumpers and the comforter. None of which was at the other Target we went to on Thursday – they just had pictures and empty shelves. So I jumped on it and bought all three. I was grinning like a loon the whole time I wandered the store to pick up toilet paper and other exciting items, while glancing at the treasures already in my cart.

I’ve also found a new favorite activity. Wandering baby clothes stores. I went to the outlet last night to look for some shirts for an upcoming family gathering. But there happens to be a Gymboree outlet and a Carters Store there too. I went into both to poke around and see what outlet prices work out to. (Gymboree had some good deals, but I’ve seen better prices on the Carter’s stuff at BRU and Kohl’s.) What I LOVE about this though, is that I can talk about baby stuff and being pregnant and 10 years of trying and whether it’s a boy or a girl, and THEY DON’T MIND. Not only do the shopgirls not mind, they seem to be interested in what I’m saying and will actually converse with me!! (Yeah, I know – they’re hoping I’ll buy something… but I really don’t think that ladies who are giving me their names and reaching out to hug me as I’m leaving are being completely insincere.) It is SO NICE to find someone – ANYONE who will let me talk about this stuff without making me feel like I’m boring/annoying them.

I guess being pregnant is a lot like planning a wedding. It’s the most exciting, all-consuming thing in your life. And no one cares even remotely as much as you do. You find yourself craving to talk about the minutia of the whole journey, and since you’re researching everything – your mind is bursting with new information and ideas. But within 30 seconds of bringing it up, everyone’s eyes glaze over and they start scanning the room for methods of escape. I think everyone forgets pretty quickly what it’s like to be pregnant for the first time.

So I’m taking full advantage of shopgirls at baby stores. I’m not buying anything yet (I bought one clearanced pack of adorable onsies at Target on Thursday, but that’s all the baby clothes I’ve bought.) But it’s just so great to walk into a store like that and not be choking back tears or feeling an icy stab in the heart. It’s like I’m finally a member of some secret club, and they’ve got really adorable swag. (OMG, little onsies with monkeys and dinosaurs on them!!)

But speaking of clothing, I’m continuing my quest to find maternity clothing for me. I’ve found three websites that seem to carry maternity bras in a size that will be appropriate for me at the end of all of this. Even better, they seem to have really reasonable prices too. Maternity clothes are another story. The “plus size” maternity fashions fit me now. I’ve got room to grow in them, but I doubt they’ll be cutting it in June. But before that, we have a Gorman family gathering for Paul’s grandmother’s memorial service in mid-April. It’s in Orange County, and there will be a lot of family there. I’ll be 27 weeks (6.5 months) by then and hopefully showing. I want to find outfits that will make me look more pregnant than fat. (I know, tall order.) I found a couple of pretty good tops last night, but I’m still looking. I want to make a nice impression on the family as Paul’s wife. Not that I haven’t met them all before… just wanna make carrying our baby look good. I don’t want to be sloppy. Ah well. If this is the worst thing I have to deal with, I’ve got it easy.

After thinking about things a lot yesterday and talking them over with Paul and his mom over sandwiches after my appointment, I made the executive decision to go with a neutral nursery. I was already leaning towards a neutral color palette (if you know me, this comes as no real surprise.) So this allows us to move forward with the nursery planning, which means wall colors can be picked so we can paint before having the new carpet put in. We’re hoping to have the carpet done by early or mid-April.

I came home from school this afternoon with a mission in mind. I wanted to go to Target and Kohl’s to see what bedding options were available in-store vs the myriad options online. Paul was game to look at baby stuff at Target, and expand our fledgling registry.

So off we went to Target. Paul happily took charge of the scanner gun thingie and was scanning baby products willy-nilly. (I had some clean-up to do online when we got home…) But he was interested in the options available – and was surprisingly conversant in the language of baby gear. I guess he has been listening to my babbling for the last 2 months.

Paul was very happy (as was I) to get our hands on the car seat for my car and really check it out. We’re both confident in my researched choice (a Graco MyRide 65) and happier now to have seen it in person. No one seems to carry our stroller/carrier combo in-store, but that’s OK.

We cruised all the baby aisles, scanning little bits and pieces – with Paul pulling stuff of the shelves to ask me what on earth it was for or why one would want one option over another for some items. It was really great to be picking stuff out for our baby and talking about various options. (Altho honestly, I have no idea why one uses baby oil…)

When we got to the bedding aisle, my suspicions were confirmed: we don’t want a “set” that someone else has packaged up and named. They’re too expensive and a little to precious for my tastes. We decided to put together our own crib set with pieces from several themes, all with a brown, green, blue, beige color scheme. So without further ado, here’s the nursery so far: (click the pics for a better look!)

	The baby’s convertible crib in Distressed Black
	A MALM dresser from IKEA in black-brown from Mama & Daddy’s bedroom. Rails will be installed on top so it can be a changing table too.
	The comforter for the crib – not that it will get much/any use in the crib, but it sets the tone for the rest of the room.
	Blankets that seemed to go with the colors & style of the comforter. The front blanket there is the same patter as the reverse of the comforter.
	More blankets. I love the ones that say BABY all over them!
	Bumper option #1
	Bumper option #2.

It feels really good to have that settled. Now we can work on picking wall color(s) this weekend. No idea if we’re gonna do one or two colors – I’m thinking one, but that’s mostly because I’m feeling lazy. But I really don’t think the baby will care if there’s more than one color on the walls.

Kohl’s was a bust for anything other than OMG cute baby clothes on OMG OMG OMG sale and clearance. Paul and I were both showing each other cute sets, most of which ended up having monkeys on the bottoms. hee! I’ll go back to Kohl’s sometime to set up a registry there so that if nothing else I can get a good coupon to use later in the summer. Most places (I’ve heard) give good coupons and discounts for registry participants – especially on unpurchased items after the due date of the baby. We’ve got a Kohl’s gift card laying around, so I’ll wanna use that with whatever discounts I can snag!

It turned into a long evening, but we finished up with BBQ at Famous Dave’s and discussion of the world we’re bringing this kid into. (Heavy conversation for BBQ if ya ask me…) It was great to spend the time with Paul doing baby stuff. I’m looking forward to doing more!

This afternoon (while Kishou was at the vet, getting lumps ice-cream-scooped out) we went to Babies R Us for the first time. I’ve been doing a lot of research online about all the various baby gear we need, but I really wanted to go somewhere and see these products first-hand.

I was too involved with the details of the strollers and car seats what whatnot to get emotional. But it was really awesome to be in there and not feel like a fraud. We looked at Travel Systems, Convertible Car Seats (the kind that go from infant 5lb to grade-school 65lb), Pack & Plays, Bouncers, Cribs, and I introduced Paul to the concept of Onesies. We detoured briefly into the nursing area, but Paul was getting squicked out, so we cut that short for now. Heh. He can’t even *say* “breast pump” yet. hahaha

I’ve gotten a lot of great advice tonight on a Car Seats discussion board I’ve recently joined on the advice of a friend. We’ve decided how we’re going to work out the car seat situation between our two cars. Paul will use the carrier-based car seat from the travel system, and I’ll use a convertible car seat that will go from infant to 65lb. I’m really happy with the convertible seat I’ve found – it’s safe and high quality, but not nearly as expensive as the Britax brand that has been so highly recommended to me over the years.

I’ve been cataloging my researched items in an Amazon wishlist, but I was gratified tonight to see that Target’s prices are just as good as Amazon’s, and the Target registry process is a lot more accessible to friends and family. (Nevermind the whole concept of being able to physically go and look at stuff there at Target.) I’m hesitant to register at Babies R Us like so many others have, just because their prices are so nutty! I dunno, they did seem to have a good price on the breast pump. (no wait, just checked. Target’s is better on that too.)

So anyway. It’s fun to be finding stuff for the baby. (Is there a point to buying a crib bedding set? Does the adorable comforter thing ever get used? All we need is bumpers and eleventy-million fitted crib sheets, right?) It’ll be even more fun when we know what we’re having and can nail down designs instead of just figuring out what models of crib and stroller we like. But in the meantime, I feel like I’m accomplishing something by finding stuff now.

(Hey moms reading this… I’d love to hear what your favorite baby gear thing is!)

As much as the first place squicked me out, I LOVE the second place.

Once I was buzzed in (no one gets through the door w/o someone at the front desk allowing it) I was greeted warmly by the center’s director, Traci. We started the tour in the infant room, after first putting plastic booties on over our shoes. The infant room was light years beyond the first place. It was bright and organized. The cribs were lined up against the walls, with pictures of the babies and their families attached to each at baby-eye height. They were CLEAN. There were three exersauser things in use, a couple of swings that weren’t in use, and two rocking chairs. The large rug on the floor covered like 80% of the room. Two little girls started toddling over to me as soon as I came into view.

The teachers (all three of them for the 9 babies there yesterday) greeted me when I entered and introduced themselves. They all agree I’m having a girl. The babies seemed happy and content. (Truth be told, I had a bit of trouble paying attention to the director while in there… my baby radar was pinging like crazy and I could hardly take my eyes off the little ones!) The diaper changing area was clean, the pad looked new and clean and there were a couple cans of Lysol wipes on the counter – I’m confident that they really are cleaning and sanitizing everything as often as they claim. The refrigerator was organized, with every baby’s little container labeled and full of labeled & dated bottles. When the bottles are used, the staff washes them out and puts them in the baby’s bag in the closet, so Mom & Dad just grab the bag and the baby to go home. Each baby has a drawer for diapers, rash cream and changes of clothes. Everything was well organized and CLEAN!

Parents are encouraged to drop in anytime. They love having breastfeeding moms come by for lunch. There’s two video cameras in each room, so we Mom & Dad can log in to see how the little one is doing. The teachers seemed engaged with the children and genuinely happy to be there.

We progressed through the center, checking out the toddler room, the up-to-2.5 year room where they start potty-training, the up-to-3 year room where the potty-trained move to, the pre-K room that was filled with 15 3.5 & 4 year olds who were eagerly reciting their multiplication tables. (One 4 year old had a 4″ tall bright red mohawk!) The kindergartners (they have a private kindergarten) were waving at us as they lined up to go outside to play. Every room was clean, and decorated to the hilt! It was a tad overwhelming to me, but I imagine that a 3 year old thinks it’s the best thing ever. Lots of stimulation for the kids. They’re encouraged to learn by playing, so lots of art projects and hands-on activities were around. The kids start on computers at 3 years old. They start twice-weekly Spanish classes at 2. Music appreciation starts at infancy. Optional on-site karate or dance lessons are available starting at age three.

We passed the kitchen which had restaurant size & quality appliances. It was closed because lunchtime was over, but it was spotless. The first place had drying dishes piled everywhere and there was hardly an open surface anywhere.

What struck me the most (other than it being clean – I was looking in corners and under tables too) was that the kids and staff all seemed happy to be there. In every room we went into, the teachers at least nodded and smiled to me as they continued their activity, if not introducing themselves. The kids (while not getting up from their assigned spots on the carpet) shyly waved as we passed through their rooms.

Everything I’ve read online about how to choose a daycare says right off to go with your gut. Well, I was darn-near skipping as I left Kids R Kids yesterday. Their prices will turn out to be cheaper than the other place, but honestly I’d be OK with paying more. Their policies seem fair, and everything they do seems to err on the side of the children.

So Paul and I talked last night about all this, and he read through all the literature I brought home. He asked a lot of good questions, and we talked about some stuff. He had suggested that he could request that work never give him a weekend off once the baby comes so he could watch the baby two days a week and we could save on two days’ worth of daycare. I explained that the price difference between 3 and 5 days a week would be a lot less than he thought (like $40 or less) and honestly I feel that it’s worth it to pay for the full week so that he *can* have the occasional weekend day off. I explained that our marriage needs to be a priority for us after the baby comes, and we’ll need to work to find time together because the baby will change everything about our lives. I asked him not to try to lose weekends so that we can hopefully have more time together as a family, and time together as a couple. Paul asked if he had a late starting day at work if he could keep the baby home and take it in late to daycare on his way to work or keep the baby home if he has a mid-week day off. I didn’t cry when he asked if he could spend the day with his child, but I did kiss him and assure him he’s welcome to spend as much time with his baby as he’d like.

Paul wants to tour the facility before we lock anything in, but he’s on board with me. This place is 3 miles from my office – less than 10 minutes and easy for Paul to get to in about 20 minutes. I feel confident about leaving our baby in these people’s care. I’m glad to have one more thing tackled on The List. (Paul realized last night that we’re gonna have to pick out a pediatrician. He is encouraging me to get on that. hehe)

Even though there isn’t much evidence to support it, this pregnancy is apparently marching along. (Or so the weekly “here’s how big yer critter is now” e-mails tell me, at least.) And while we’re kinda stuck waiting on nursery stuff until we find out the sex (*hopefully* next week!) I’m trying to start working on baby-related things.

My big challenge this week has been daycare. My reading tells me I have a lot of research to do, and to start sooner than later in case there’s a waiting list at our chosen facility.

There’s a (24 hour) daycare center called Kids ‘r’ Us across the parking lot from my office. I assumed from the time I found out I was pregnant that the baby would spend his/her days there, with me popping over for lunch and occasional cuddle-breaks. So this week I called and spoke with the director, got some preliminary info and made an appointment for a tour.

I toured the facility yesterday and was underwhelmed. My gut reaction was that Kids ‘r’ Us was dirty and disorganized. The staff didn’t recognize me as a touring parent as I wandered their rooms at naptime. They were either doing paperwork or sweeping up what I thought was an inordinate amount of random gunk off the floors. The infant room was less inspiring. I don’t think the cribs or changing area is sanitized often at all, and the linens are washed weekly. The cribs were scattered haphazardly around the room, and there didn’t seem to be much in the way of toys or stimulation for the wee ones.

I was pretty disappointed, especially since I really wanted this facility to work because of it’s location. But I just can’t see leaving our baby there. But I wanted to check out other facilities before I totally crossed them off my list, because maybe my expectations were way too high. (What do I know? I’ve never been in a day care before.)

So this morning I called a ‘corporate’ day care that I pass during the last 10 minutes of my commute to work each day called Kids ‘r’ Kids. (Where do they get these names?) The director answered and gave me a lovely spiel about their facility and their infant program which began with how often their cribs and linens are sanitized (daily) and finished with details of the sign language curriculum they start by 4 months. So many great things about this place, and from the looks of the photos on their website, it’s exactly what I expected a day care to look like. PLUS, the price works out to the same as the place by my work – and once the baby is on solids it’ll actually be cheaper because they supply the Gerber-brand baby food.

I’m touring Kids ‘r’ Kids tomorrow at lunch and I cannot wait. If I like what I see tomorrow, I’ll check out the place with the Bureau of Licensing and whoever else my social worker co-worker says I need to. (I don’t know what I’d do without my co-worker Kate. She is a font of incredible mommy-wisdom combined with no-nonsense social worker smarts.) I’ll take Paul to tour the place, and if we agree on it, we’ll put down a deposit to hold a spot in September for our wee one. (I’m hoping to be able to take 6-7 weeks off work for maternity leave; we can’t afford for me not to work, so I can only take off as much time as I can save up vacation & sick leave for.) Gotta love America’s (lack of) Maternity Policy.

I’m a little surprised at my visceral reaction of “I’m not leaving my baby there” to the first place, but it’s kinda nice to be feeling mom-like.