Paul & Sarah

So this week has been kinda a rough week, with Paul’s job going bust and all. (It was a hellish 2 weeks, actually.) Combined with our slight annoyance/disappointment that we didn’t get confirmation of the baby’s sex at this week’s appointment; and well…. we were looking for a happy.

I was looking into 3D ultrasound places here in Las Vegas and found one with great rates AND a coupon! They were able to get us in this morning at 10:30 for a basic package of 2D and 3D images and a guaranteed gender confirmation. (Seriously, if they can’t tell 100% for sure you get to come back for free and if they’re wrong you get your money back or another free 4D session. We were pretty stoked about our chances of finding out with policies like that!)

So this morning our friends Sibyana and Cheri met us at Miracle in Progress (it was like 5 minutes from their house – on the other side of the valley for us) and we had ourselves a little viewing party! The tech was really great – more gentle than the nurses at Dr. Schwartz’s office to tell the truth. She ended up working with us for 30 minutes instead of the 15 minutes our session was supposed to be. She wasn’t able to really do any of the 3D or 4D stuff because of the placement of the baby in relation to the placenta. The baby was laying *on* the placenta, using it for a pillow. But she kept trying and trying to get the baby to turn and “look” at her so she could get some 3D images.

So even though we only got one 3D image, we’re still stoked because we got the one thing we came for:

It’s a boy for sure. I commented on the ‘tiny wang’ and the tech replied that it wasn’t small at all. Paul, ever the proud Papa, was beaming as we all collapsed into giggles.

We got a great view of our son as he waved his arms, yawned, gulped amniotic fluid, kicked, and wiggled. It was the first time that I’ve watched him moving around and was able to feel some of it. SO COOL.

So we have a DVD of the whole 28 minute session, and a CD with some pictures. I’ve culled the best of the pictures and put them in a gallery. I label one picture and then place the original behind it in the gallery so you can flip back and forth to see what’s what. For most of the session, the baby kept his back to us, so that’s why some of the best shots don’t have his face in them. (We’re gonna see about editing down the DVD of the ultrasound and posting some of that. A lot of it is kinda boring, but some of it is amazing – like watching him yawn right at us.)

Afterwards, we had brunch with Sibyana and Cheri, and then Paul let me hit the nearby Target to add blue things to the registry. :)

But yep. We’re having a Boy. And no, we have no idea for names yet at all.

• The raging psoriasis on my arms is gone. Apparently it’s a common occurrence during pregnancy because of the elevated estrogen levels. (I was surprised that it wasn’t from the progesterone, since that stuff seems to be responsible for everything else!) The stuff on my head is not nearly as bad, but I have been using a medicated shampoo for the first time ever – so I’m not sure what’s fixing that. (For those who don’t know, I have really horrible psoriasis on my arms: unsightly and extremely painful.)
• I’m still not feeling anything from the baby. Really beginning to bug me. I think I’ve felt a flutter or three, but nothing more than that and not for over a week. Dangit, I’m more than halfway done with this process…. I wanna feel something! Plus, it’s just disconcerting to not feel anything. I want some sort of confirmation that everything is OK in there. I poke and poke at my belly, and I can feel the honeydew melon in there… but no response from it’s tenant. Wah.
• Speaking of that honeydew melon… bending over is a thing now. Like, I avoid doing it now. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s not comfortable. And I figure if it’s not comfortable for me, it can’t be enjoyable for the baby. I’m noticing it more when I get into bed too these days. We have a fairly high-up bed, so it’s a bit of a climb to get in. Lifting my leg up that high kinda shoves everything up. Maybe it’s time for a little step-stool.
• I have an appointment to see Dr. Schwartz on Wednesday afternoon. Dr. Schwartz said we could take another look and see if we can find out the sex at this upcoming appointment. I really hope the baby cooperates this time. I’m gonna drink orange juice on the way over to the appointment to wake the kid up. I REALLY wanna find out the sex. I’m pretty sure it’s a boy, but confirmation would be great.
• I’m gonna talk to Dr. Schwartz about a bit of swelling I’m having in my ankles. Most days my ankles are a little swollen by the time I get home from work. If I put my feet up for a little while it goes back down, but it’s a little worrisome. I’m really concerned about pre-eclampsia, so I’m on watch for any symptoms.
• Lastly, I’m STARVING. Like all the dang time. Doesn’t seem to matter what I eat, I’m ravenous again within 2 hours. I’m trying to make healthy choices, but it’s still worrisome. I’ve never been this hungry, this often in my whole life. It’s hard to deal with, cuz I know I’ve gained weight. Granted, I know that some weight gain is expected – cuz ya know, the baby is growing… but when you live your entire life trying to avoid any sort of weight gain, it’s hard to get right with this gain. (Plus the books and websites say I should gain somewhere between 0-14lb for the whole pregnancy, which short of living like I’m training for a marathon doesn’t seem possible or realistic.) I wake up a couple times a night to pee and most nights I’m starving for at least one of those trips to the bathroom. Usually I just ignore it and go back to bed, but then come 7:00am’s alarm I’m so hungry I’m nauseous. But eating in the middle of the night just seems so wrong. So yeah, there’s that.
3 Comments | Tags: changes in me, development, Doctor Appts, emotional hoo-ha, movement, Ultrasounds

We are now the proud owners of two bumpers and a baby comforter. They’re sitting on the green couch in the front room, and they look SO WEIRD to be in the house.

I went to Target today looking to buy a set of the blankets or something from the nursery stuff we picked out so we could figure out paint colors this weekend. But what do I see on the shelf? Both the bumpers and the comforter. None of which was at the other Target we went to on Thursday – they just had pictures and empty shelves. So I jumped on it and bought all three. I was grinning like a loon the whole time I wandered the store to pick up toilet paper and other exciting items, while glancing at the treasures already in my cart.

I’ve also found a new favorite activity. Wandering baby clothes stores. I went to the outlet last night to look for some shirts for an upcoming family gathering. But there happens to be a Gymboree outlet and a Carters Store there too. I went into both to poke around and see what outlet prices work out to. (Gymboree had some good deals, but I’ve seen better prices on the Carter’s stuff at BRU and Kohl’s.) What I LOVE about this though, is that I can talk about baby stuff and being pregnant and 10 years of trying and whether it’s a boy or a girl, and THEY DON’T MIND. Not only do the shopgirls not mind, they seem to be interested in what I’m saying and will actually converse with me!! (Yeah, I know – they’re hoping I’ll buy something… but I really don’t think that ladies who are giving me their names and reaching out to hug me as I’m leaving are being completely insincere.) It is SO NICE to find someone – ANYONE who will let me talk about this stuff without making me feel like I’m boring/annoying them.

I guess being pregnant is a lot like planning a wedding. It’s the most exciting, all-consuming thing in your life. And no one cares even remotely as much as you do. You find yourself craving to talk about the minutia of the whole journey, and since you’re researching everything – your mind is bursting with new information and ideas. But within 30 seconds of bringing it up, everyone’s eyes glaze over and they start scanning the room for methods of escape. I think everyone forgets pretty quickly what it’s like to be pregnant for the first time.

So I’m taking full advantage of shopgirls at baby stores. I’m not buying anything yet (I bought one clearanced pack of adorable onsies at Target on Thursday, but that’s all the baby clothes I’ve bought.) But it’s just so great to walk into a store like that and not be choking back tears or feeling an icy stab in the heart. It’s like I’m finally a member of some secret club, and they’ve got really adorable swag. (OMG, little onsies with monkeys and dinosaurs on them!!)

But speaking of clothing, I’m continuing my quest to find maternity clothing for me. I’ve found three websites that seem to carry maternity bras in a size that will be appropriate for me at the end of all of this. Even better, they seem to have really reasonable prices too. Maternity clothes are another story. The “plus size” maternity fashions fit me now. I’ve got room to grow in them, but I doubt they’ll be cutting it in June. But before that, we have a Gorman family gathering for Paul’s grandmother’s memorial service in mid-April. It’s in Orange County, and there will be a lot of family there. I’ll be 27 weeks (6.5 months) by then and hopefully showing. I want to find outfits that will make me look more pregnant than fat. (I know, tall order.) I found a couple of pretty good tops last night, but I’m still looking. I want to make a nice impression on the family as Paul’s wife. Not that I haven’t met them all before… just wanna make carrying our baby look good. I don’t want to be sloppy. Ah well. If this is the worst thing I have to deal with, I’ve got it easy.

I’m cruising on a website for a great wrap carrier I heard about today. The gallery is packed full of pictures of parents all over the world with their babies in this carrier. Moms and Dads, newborns through preschoolers.

Tears are running down my cheeks. For the first time in a very, very, very long time I’m able to look at pictures of babies and smile with anticipation instead of feeling a cold grip on my heart for what will never be ours.

It’s getting a lot more real now. What a blessing.