Monthly Archives: January 2010

So many options! (16w)

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This afternoon (while Kishou was at the vet, getting lumps ice-cream-scooped out) we went to Babies R Us for the first time. I’ve been doing a lot of research online about all the various baby gear we need, but I really wanted to go somewhere and see these products first-hand.

I was too involved with the details of the strollers and car seats what whatnot to get emotional. But it was really awesome to be in there and not feel like a fraud. We looked at Travel Systems, Convertible Car Seats (the kind that go from infant 5lb to grade-school 65lb), Pack & Plays, Bouncers, Cribs, and I introduced Paul to the concept of Onesies. We detoured briefly into the nursing area, but Paul was getting squicked out, so we cut that short for now. Heh. He can’t even *say* “breast pump” yet. hahaha

I’ve gotten a lot of great advice tonight on a Car Seats discussion board I’ve recently joined on the advice of a friend. We’ve decided how we’re going to work out the car seat situation between our two cars. Paul will use the carrier-based car seat from the travel system, and I’ll use a convertible car seat that will go from infant to 65lb. I’m really happy with the convertible seat I’ve found – it’s safe and high quality, but not nearly as expensive as the Britax brand that has been so highly recommended to me over the years.

I’ve been cataloging my researched items in an Amazon wishlist, but I was gratified tonight to see that Target’s prices are just as good as Amazon’s, and the Target registry process is a lot more accessible to friends and family. (Nevermind the whole concept of being able to physically go and look at stuff there at Target.) I’m hesitant to register at Babies R Us like so many others have, just because their prices are so nutty! I dunno, they did seem to have a good price on the breast pump. (no wait, just checked. Target’s is better on that too.)

So anyway. It’s fun to be finding stuff for the baby. (Is there a point to buying a crib bedding set? Does the adorable comforter thing ever get used? All we need is bumpers and eleventy-million fitted crib sheets, right?) It’ll be even more fun when we know what we’re having and can nail down designs instead of just figuring out what models of crib and stroller we like. But in the meantime, I feel like I’m accomplishing something by finding stuff now.

(Hey moms reading this… I’d love to hear what your favorite baby gear thing is!)

Little brat. :) (15w6d)

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Today’s appointment would have been very short were it not for the uncharacteristically long waits in the waiting room and in the exam room.

My weight is down a pound, my blood pressure is in a happier range, and my blood sugars are making Dr. Schwartz smile. (For once he didn’t change my insulin dosage!) Dr. Schwartz walked in the exam room, looked at me sideways and asked “How’s your boobs?” (I emailed him last week about a sudden re-occurance of tear-inducing breast pain. Turns out it’s just another Joy of PregnancyTM. But he did offer some advice on bras and whatnot that he assured me he had to research, as opposed to knowing off the top of his head. I’ve linked the worst of the pain to a ridiculous sensitivity to cold, so I’m making sure to stay well covered up, especially at night. Because crying during one’s morning shower sucks.)

We chatted a bit and he reassured me that I’m doing fine, baby is doing fine and if I wanted, I could space my appointments out to three weeks for a while since he’s confident that I don’t need to be ‘checked on’ as often now that we’re out of the scary 1st trimester when so many things can go wrong. (Holy run-on sentence, Batman!) I’ve even been given leave to stop e-mailing him my blood sugars if I don’t want to. (I think I still will though, cuz I feel like I’ve barely got a handle on them.) I think I’ll start spacing out the appointments though, so that I don’t burn any more sick leave than I have to. The more I can horde, the longer I can stay out on maternity leave.

The next appointment is February 10th which will be lots of bloodwork (including the quad-screen to follow up the 1st trimester’s triple-screen) and the BIG anatomical ultrasound – so it should take nearly an hour. We’ll find out the sex, assuming the little critter cooperates.

Speaking of the little brat… We tried to see the sex today, but the critter was having none of it. It turned it’s back to us three times. The tech actually had trouble isolating the heart because the baby wouldn’t stop flopping and flailing around. I was disappointed that I didn’t get much of a look, but I’m OK with not knowing for two more weeks. I’d really like Paul to be there when we do. We’ll be sure to get a DVD of the next ultrasound, and hopefully it will include some good pictures.

Daycare, take II (15w2d)

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As much as the first place squicked me out, I LOVE the second place.

Once I was buzzed in (no one gets through the door w/o someone at the front desk allowing it) I was greeted warmly by the center’s director, Traci. We started the tour in the infant room, after first putting plastic booties on over our shoes. The infant room was light years beyond the first place. It was bright and organized. The cribs were lined up against the walls, with pictures of the babies and their families attached to each at baby-eye height. They were CLEAN. There were three exersauser things in use, a couple of swings that weren’t in use, and two rocking chairs. The large rug on the floor covered like 80% of the room. Two little girls started toddling over to me as soon as I came into view.

The teachers (all three of them for the 9 babies there yesterday) greeted me when I entered and introduced themselves. They all agree I’m having a girl. The babies seemed happy and content. (Truth be told, I had a bit of trouble paying attention to the director while in there… my baby radar was pinging like crazy and I could hardly take my eyes off the little ones!) The diaper changing area was clean, the pad looked new and clean and there were a couple cans of Lysol wipes on the counter – I’m confident that they really are cleaning and sanitizing everything as often as they claim. The refrigerator was organized, with every baby’s little container labeled and full of labeled & dated bottles. When the bottles are used, the staff washes them out and puts them in the baby’s bag in the closet, so Mom & Dad just grab the bag and the baby to go home. Each baby has a drawer for diapers, rash cream and changes of clothes. Everything was well organized and CLEAN!

Parents are encouraged to drop in anytime. They love having breastfeeding moms come by for lunch. There’s two video cameras in each room, so we Mom & Dad can log in to see how the little one is doing. The teachers seemed engaged with the children and genuinely happy to be there.

We progressed through the center, checking out the toddler room, the up-to-2.5 year room where they start potty-training, the up-to-3 year room where the potty-trained move to, the pre-K room that was filled with 15 3.5 & 4 year olds who were eagerly reciting their multiplication tables. (One 4 year old had a 4″ tall bright red mohawk!) The kindergartners (they have a private kindergarten) were waving at us as they lined up to go outside to play. Every room was clean, and decorated to the hilt! It was a tad overwhelming to me, but I imagine that a 3 year old thinks it’s the best thing ever. Lots of stimulation for the kids. They’re encouraged to learn by playing, so lots of art projects and hands-on activities were around. The kids start on computers at 3 years old. They start twice-weekly Spanish classes at 2. Music appreciation starts at infancy. Optional on-site karate or dance lessons are available starting at age three.

We passed the kitchen which had restaurant size & quality appliances. It was closed because lunchtime was over, but it was spotless. The first place had drying dishes piled everywhere and there was hardly an open surface anywhere.

What struck me the most (other than it being clean – I was looking in corners and under tables too) was that the kids and staff all seemed happy to be there. In every room we went into, the teachers at least nodded and smiled to me as they continued their activity, if not introducing themselves. The kids (while not getting up from their assigned spots on the carpet) shyly waved as we passed through their rooms.

Everything I’ve read online about how to choose a daycare says right off to go with your gut. Well, I was darn-near skipping as I left Kids R Kids yesterday. Their prices will turn out to be cheaper than the other place, but honestly I’d be OK with paying more. Their policies seem fair, and everything they do seems to err on the side of the children.

So Paul and I talked last night about all this, and he read through all the literature I brought home. He asked a lot of good questions, and we talked about some stuff. He had suggested that he could request that work never give him a weekend off once the baby comes so he could watch the baby two days a week and we could save on two days’ worth of daycare. I explained that the price difference between 3 and 5 days a week would be a lot less than he thought (like $40 or less) and honestly I feel that it’s worth it to pay for the full week so that he *can* have the occasional weekend day off. I explained that our marriage needs to be a priority for us after the baby comes, and we’ll need to work to find time together because the baby will change everything about our lives. I asked him not to try to lose weekends so that we can hopefully have more time together as a family, and time together as a couple. Paul asked if he had a late starting day at work if he could keep the baby home and take it in late to daycare on his way to work or keep the baby home if he has a mid-week day off. I didn’t cry when he asked if he could spend the day with his child, but I did kiss him and assure him he’s welcome to spend as much time with his baby as he’d like.

Paul wants to tour the facility before we lock anything in, but he’s on board with me. This place is 3 miles from my office – less than 10 minutes and easy for Paul to get to in about 20 minutes. I feel confident about leaving our baby in these people’s care. I’m glad to have one more thing tackled on The List. (Paul realized last night that we’re gonna have to pick out a pediatrician. He is encouraging me to get on that. hehe)

Happy Tears (15w1d)

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I’m cruising on a website for a great wrap carrier I heard about today. The gallery is packed full of pictures of parents all over the world with their babies in this carrier. Moms and Dads, newborns through preschoolers.

Tears are running down my cheeks. For the first time in a very, very, very long time I’m able to look at pictures of babies and smile with anticipation instead of feeling a cold grip on my heart for what will never be ours.

It’s getting a lot more real now. What a blessing.

Take my baby, please! (15w)

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Even though there isn’t much evidence to support it, this pregnancy is apparently marching along. (Or so the weekly “here’s how big yer critter is now” e-mails tell me, at least.) And while we’re kinda stuck waiting on nursery stuff until we find out the sex (*hopefully* next week!) I’m trying to start working on baby-related things.

My big challenge this week has been daycare. My reading tells me I have a lot of research to do, and to start sooner than later in case there’s a waiting list at our chosen facility.

There’s a (24 hour) daycare center called Kids ‘r’ Us across the parking lot from my office. I assumed from the time I found out I was pregnant that the baby would spend his/her days there, with me popping over for lunch and occasional cuddle-breaks. So this week I called and spoke with the director, got some preliminary info and made an appointment for a tour.

I toured the facility yesterday and was underwhelmed. My gut reaction was that Kids ‘r’ Us was dirty and disorganized. The staff didn’t recognize me as a touring parent as I wandered their rooms at naptime. They were either doing paperwork or sweeping up what I thought was an inordinate amount of random gunk off the floors. The infant room was less inspiring. I don’t think the cribs or changing area is sanitized often at all, and the linens are washed weekly. The cribs were scattered haphazardly around the room, and there didn’t seem to be much in the way of toys or stimulation for the wee ones.

I was pretty disappointed, especially since I really wanted this facility to work because of it’s location. But I just can’t see leaving our baby there. But I wanted to check out other facilities before I totally crossed them off my list, because maybe my expectations were way too high. (What do I know? I’ve never been in a day care before.)

So this morning I called a ‘corporate’ day care that I pass during the last 10 minutes of my commute to work each day called Kids ‘r’ Kids. (Where do they get these names?) The director answered and gave me a lovely spiel about their facility and their infant program which began with how often their cribs and linens are sanitized (daily) and finished with details of the sign language curriculum they start by 4 months. So many great things about this place, and from the looks of the photos on their website, it’s exactly what I expected a day care to look like. PLUS, the price works out to the same as the place by my work – and once the baby is on solids it’ll actually be cheaper because they supply the Gerber-brand baby food.

I’m touring Kids ‘r’ Kids tomorrow at lunch and I cannot wait. If I like what I see tomorrow, I’ll check out the place with the Bureau of Licensing and whoever else my social worker co-worker says I need to. (I don’t know what I’d do without my co-worker Kate. She is a font of incredible mommy-wisdom combined with no-nonsense social worker smarts.) I’ll take Paul to tour the place, and if we agree on it, we’ll put down a deposit to hold a spot in September for our wee one. (I’m hoping to be able to take 6-7 weeks off work for maternity leave; we can’t afford for me not to work, so I can only take off as much time as I can save up vacation & sick leave for.) Gotta love America’s (lack of) Maternity Policy.

I’m a little surprised at my visceral reaction of “I’m not leaving my baby there” to the first place, but it’s kinda nice to be feeling mom-like.