I am so damn tired. This week it's hit me like a ton of bricks. I think I'm just still trying to recover from overdoing it over Thanksgiving. I practically fell asleep during dinner last night. And I didn't really sleep well once I got into bed.
But I've got so many things that I wanna do tonight and this weekend. I'm gonna have to pace myself, that's for sure.
But good lord, I'm tired.
So we're starting to tell a few people today. I told my Executive Director this morning. He was surprisingly congratulatory. I was expecting him to be pretty perturbed, so that was a nice surprise.
Paul apparently told the rest of the crew at his theater. They knew something was up cuz he had yesterday flexed, so he's been dodging folks all week.
I talked with Kelly and told her. SO glad to have done that. I really have been wanting to talk to her since I found out.
And I've told Tammy this afternoon cuz I'm asking her to draw me a little something I can use as a sig on my forums and maybe as a general announcement thing.
We're being quiet about it, asking folks not to talk about it publicly until we make an announcement. But it's really really nice to have close friends in the know and so very happy for us.
So after the appointment we went to Walmart to look about some psoriasis shampoo for me, and I turned it into a little grocery shopping trip. We happened to go by the baby section and I took the opportunity to spend 5 minutes in there and not feel like a total fraud. Paul was impressed with the object known as a “Pack and Play” and agreed that strollers and car seats and cribs will merit research and discussion.
But up in the front of all the clothes were little tiny Santa outfits for boys and girls. They were deep red velvet trimmed in white velvet with sewn-on black belts and matching hats. SOOOOO cute. I grabbed a 6-9mo dress and showed Paul. “See? This is what we'll have next Christmas if it's a girl!”
Paul's eyes bugged out. “That's HUGE!” he said.
“Well, it won't be that big when it comes out of me, but she'll be 6 months old at Christmas. And depending on how big she is when she's born…” I grabbed a 3-6mo boy's outfit to show Paul. “Or, he could still be fitting in this if he's not too big.”
Paul just stared. “That's just huge.”
I'm having fun freaking him out a bit. :)
So um yeah. It's bigger now. 1.5cm to be precise. The fluttering heart was easy to see in the murky orange image. The heartrate was a solid 160 – just as it should be. The new little picture (that still doesn't show anything that anyone can tell) says 7w6d on it, so maybe I'm a little further along. Next appointment is December 16th at 8:30am so Paul can join me again. Hopefully by then we'll be able to actually see something worth showing off.
So we're both feeling pretty good about stuff.
Dr. Schwartz wasn't concerned at all with my blood sugar readings. I was afraid they were too high, but he said they were just fine all things considered. He upped my insulin a bit, and doubled my blood pressure meds. But he stressed that I was doing just fine and not to worry. Also, my a1c came back at 6.5 which he was really happy with. He said he was hoping for under 7, so 6.5 is really great. I'm thrilled, because this means I had good blood sugar control when I conceived – which greatly lowers the risk of heart and neural tube defects.
I'm cleared for two cans of chunk light tuna a week, I can use psoriasis shampoo, I can have all my teas, and can have sex. Life is good. I've bought stuff to make (healthier) Egg McMuffins at home, cottage cheese and no-sugar-added canned fruit, and fixings for tuna salad. Lunchtime will be easier and healthier starting tomorrow. (Cheaper too.)
Now we just need to get a hold of Paul's sister, Cassie. We can't really tell anyone else in the general public until we tell her – and for a week now we haven't been able to get in touch with her. Random 6-hour-delayed chats are all we can get, and Paul is insistent that he wants both of us to tell her, face-to-face on the Skype. I'm hoping that maybe she'll respond when she wakes up tomorrow morning and we can talk to her tonight around midnight. Cuz I really wanna tell a couple of people, but we gotta tell Cassie first.
I'm out of work at 1:00 today. 90 minutes from now. I'm pretty sure these next 90 minutes will take a day and a half.
I'm excited and worried and on edge and a little concerned that I'm gonna get yelled at for something. I'm sure I need to eat better, but even when I'm eating completely appropriate things (like an egg mcmuffin for breakfast) my sugars are still too high. So I imagine they'll up my insulin today anyway. I feel like I had better control on the pills – but we knew this was going to be a work in progress, and that pregnancy makes insulin not work as well anyway, so the usual dosages and rules kinda go out the window.
Paul had a meeting with HR today (even though he's got the day flexed to be able to come with me this afternoon) about benefits. Upshot is that we'll be utilizing the FSA that the Venetian has to help offset some of the medical expenses for next year. But stupidly, there's a cap at $1000. We were looking to put in something more along the lines of $2400. But I guess any savings is better than none.
They had no info for him to confirm how the insurance works – so I'll be calling back again to help get that explained to me. Supposedly all we'll have to pay is $1000, since that's the personal deductible every year. But there's some confusion as to how we don't end up paying the doctor $1000 and still getting a bill from the hospital too. So yeah.
Paul has the option to take FMLA, but he has to make a separate appointment to talk to an FMLA person about that. HR couldn't/wouldn't give him any information on that today. We're assuming that it's all unpaid, except for whatever flex time he has built up. Looks like we'll both be hoarding our paid leave for a while, since I'm in the same boat, except without FMLA. We won't be able to afford for me to take off any time unpaid, so I'll need every last hour I can save up.
And then there's daycare. There's a daycare center on the Venetian property, and we think it's subsidized? Not sure exactly how that works – or even if we'd want to go that route. I mean, subsidized day care would be nice, but that's a decent distance away from me, and it's not easy to get to inside the building. There's a 24/7 daycare right next to my office that I'll prolly end up checking out – that would be terribly convenient to be able to walk next door to feed the kid or whatnot. Altho there's a chance that I'll be able to bring the kid into work with me. My agency had it's first baby in October, and mom will be coming back after the first of the year. Currently she's been granted permission to bring her baby into the office with her. So we'll see how that works out, and if that policy is still in effect when it's my turn.
So much to think about and work out… but right now all I'm really concerned about is seeing and hearing a heartbeat at 2:00 this afternoon. Without any MAJOR pregnancy symptoms, there's kinda a lot that has to be taken on faith right now. And I'll admit: my faith is a little shaky so far.