Dr. Happy’s reality check (27w1d)

I had my regularly scheduled appointment on Wednesday morning, the last of my 3 week appointments. It was a simple appointment, no bloodwork, no ultrasound to speak of, nothing major – just checking in.

First the good news: I gained 3 pounds since my last appointment. I was TOTALLY expecting more, because I feel so much bigger. But Paul concurs with his mom that apparently I’m shrinking in other places. As he (ever so lovingly) put it, I’m “less flabby” than before. I get what he meant though – places that were flabbier are – well…. full of baby now, so they’re filled out. (I’ve got stretch marks to prove it!) I was THRILLED to hear that I’d only gained 3 pounds. I like to think that I’m making good choices with what I eat and portion control – but it’s so hard to tell when I’m SO farking hungry, and when I keep gaining weight, regardless of what I eat. So yay me. I’m up a total of 12 pounds so far. Everyone is happy about that. The little guy should start putting on an average of a half pound a week here soon – so steady continued weight gain is expected.

My blood pressure was a little on the high side when I first got into the exam room, but when taken again at the end of the appointment was down to a happy-making 128/83. So the meds are still working as they should, which is awesome.

We didn’t really get a look at the little guy. The nurse this time was all business and only even remembered to turn on the speakers so we could hear the heartbeat after she’d already found it. The stallions were galloping at 142 bpm.

Dr. Schwartz was pleased to see that my blood sugars were already coming back down now that my stress level has reduced quite a bit. Between finishing off the horrific, unending server install/migration at work (I worked 4 weekends in a row…. I’m still trying to catch up on rest) and Paul finding a contract programming gig – my stress has gone down a lot. My blood sugars are almost back into the happy range they were 5 weeks ago. Dr. Schwartz upped my evening regular insulin by 2 units, so nothing major. He and I are still expecting to see more insulin resistance as the pregnancy progresses, so I’m prepared for more insulin bumps.

But then Dr. Scarypants arrived and started preaching. Basically what Dr. Schwartz told us is that now that I’m in my 3rd trimester (which started either today or a week ago, depending on who you ask) that the gloves are off. Dr. Schwartz doesn’t want to scare me, but he felt the need to reinforce the fact that I *am* a very high risk pregnancy. And while I’ve done fantastic so far, the likelihood of me getting all the way through this pregnancy, let alone with no complications is slim to none. He believes I *will* get pre-eclampsia – it’s simply a question of when and how severely. He reminded me that there’s nothing I can do to prevent pre-eclampsia, and there’s nothing I’ve done wrong that will make it happen. But someone of my size, first pregnancy, diabetic and hypertensive just *will* get it. Nothing you can do but pray for a miracle.

So now we live with goals. The first goal is to get to 30 weeks. Then to get to 32 weeks. Then to get to 36 weeks. And after 36 weeks – he could deliver me anytime. Dr. Schwartz warned me that he expects to put me on modified bed rest at some point which means I’ll need to modify my work schedule – if I’m able to go to work at all anymore. I may be reduced to working from home, which severely limits what I can do. (It’s hard to do Accounts Payable when the invoices have to stay at the office, ya know?) He didn’t rule out the possibility of needing to hospitalize me towards the end. (That’s my idea of hell there, kids.)

So for now we keep doing what we’re doing. Taking it as easy as possible, treating myself and baby well, eating as well as I can manage, exercising moderately (although he strongly cautioned me against over-doing it even by a little bit) and trying to stay calm. Each day my blood pressure stays below scary levels is one more day my little man gets to cook in his first apartment.

I’ll be honest, the thing that freaks me out the most is being told I can’t work. We cannot afford to not have me working, especially for weeks before the baby comes. That will just eat into the meager paid leave reserves I have. (Yes, my work is willing to adjust my schedule as necessary – but seriously, I can’t do half my duties from home.) But stressing isn’t going to help anything, so I try not to dwell on it.

I’m back to two week appointments now, and will drop down to one week intervals after 30 weeks or so. So next appointment is April 28th. Then I’ll have one right before my shower – which is in less than a month!

Other stuff too! (26w)

I am SO excited about our prenatal classes that start next month!

Prepared Childbirth (How the heck does this thing get outta me?!?!)
Thursdays from 6:00-9:00PM May 6, 13 & 20
St. Rose Home Health 1125 American Pacific, Suite G,

St. Rose Siena Hospital Tour and Registration (Where I’ll deliver in July)
Mon 05/24/2010 6:00 PM -6:20 PM
3001 St. Rose Pkwy

Baby Basics (Ok, we have the kid – now what do we do with it?)
Wed 05/26/2010 6:00 PM -9:00 PM
Henderson WomensCare Center 100 N. Green Valley Parkway Suite 330

Breastfeeding (It may be natural, but I’m told it ain’t easy!)
Wed 06/09/2010 6:00 PM -8:30 PM
Henderson WomensCare Center 100 N. Green Valley Parkway Suite 330

Paul will be attending all the classes too – although he’s worried he’ll be the only guy at the breastfeeding class. The sign up says guys are welcome, and everything I’ve read about breastfeeding says that the more involved Dad is, the better the chances the little man and I have of success.

AND, today after class (first one done on the extra credit assignment, WOO WOO!) I went to Target to poke at stuff and look for a baby book. To my surprise, the Pack & Play I’ve got on our registry (that’s supposed to be online-only) was in store, and set up! I was so tickled to see it in person – I pulled it off the display and gave it the full inspection. (No, I didn’t put it back up on the display myself.) I absolutely LOVE it! The design is super cute, with little embroidered bees – and the features are just great with the flip-over changing tray and the diaper-supply tray. Combine all that with the fantastic price of $99 – my frugal (ok, cheap!) little heart is all a-flutter!

I can’t believe how fast things seem to be moving now. We’re down to double digits on our countdown ticker! There’s so much still left to do, but yet we’re both starting to get excited to meet this little guy who has already taken over our lives!

Another Update (25w6d)

How has it been another week already? Let’s see what’s new in the last week…

  • Blood Sugars: I’m concerned about my blood sugars. They’ve been really pretty good for quite a while now. My last a1c test (long-term blood sugar report card) was a smashing 6.0. But since my last appointment, my sugars have gone back up. I’m eating basically the same stuff, no real changes. If anything I’m not eating as often, but I’m eating larger meals when I do. I’m avoiding eating in the middle of the night when I get up to pee and find myself starving. But my fasting sugars are much higher than they used to be (averaging 110-ish or higher) and my post-breakfast sugars look even worse as a consequence. That’s the really frustrating part – I eat the same three things for breakfast every morning during the week. But for some reason now my blood sugar is blasting up 70-100 points after breakfast, as opposed to the 30-50 points it did before. (I take my morning whopping dose of insulin and then eat breakfast within 20-40 minutes.) I know this will be a big discussion topic at my next appointment. I’m aware that as the pregnancy continues that it’s not uncommon to have some impressive insulin resistance, but I’m concerned that this seemed to come on so suddenly. I’m kinda hoping that it has a bit to do with my stress levels of late. I’ve had a big project at work hanging over me for a couple of weeks now – a server install/migration that has gone wrong in every way possible. Hopefully this weekend will be the end of it – if not, my job might be on the line… so maybe if I get rid of this stress, my sugars will behave? Here’s hoping.
  • Weight Gain: I have no idea how much I’ve gained since my last appointment, but I can’t imagine it will be good. I don’t know how to deal with the fact that I’m getting bigger. Everything in my life has always been about *not* getting bigger at any cost – so mentally I have no mechanism to deal with these changes. I’m not contemplating dieting or anything… but I live in fear of that scale at Dr. Schwartz’s office. For the record, I don’t feel like I’m getting bigger anywhere but my belly and boobs – but what the hell do I know?
  • Swelling: Some days are better than others. I’m always swollen in my feet and ankles to some extent, with the left being more swollen than the right. (Not to an alarming extent, but I notice it.) If I spend an inordinate amount of time with my feet up, the swelling will go down some, but when I wake up in the morning, things are still swollen. That said, I have three pairs of shoes I can rotate through depending on how bad the swelling is on a given day. My hands and face remain un-puffy, which is good since that is a sign of pre-eclampsia. My wrists are still pretty swollen though, so the carpel tunnel issues continue, and actually seem to be getting worse. I’m looking into braces or something to help with this, since I can’t do anything about my job that requires me to be on a computer all day.
  • Names: We have a list of 23 names we’re working on. Not sure if this list is the final list though. I’m still on the lookout for a good baby-naming book and always listening for a good name. Those who have glanced at our list have been surprised at how ‘normal’ the names are. I guess people thought we would be naming the kid something from Star Trek or Canterbury Tales? (Geoffrey Tiberius, anyone?)
  • Kicks: Our little man is a dancing, kicking, punching, rolling, whirling dervish. I have no real idea what appendage is whunking me at any given time, but I feel him all throughout the day these days. Sometimes when he’s really on a tear it can be hard to concentrate on other things for all the activity in my belly! I’m pretty sure I had a little baby bum sticking out to the right of my belly button yesterday morning though. I was re-familiarizing myself with myself in the mirror before hopping in the shower, and noticed a lump about the size of a tennis ball to the right of my belly button. I poked at it, but it didn’t do anything. It was gone after my shower though! (As I’m writing this, he’s kicking at opposite ends of my belly – I wish I could see what on earth he’s doing in there!)
  • Kicks, part II: Paul felt the baby kick on Easter Sunday! (April 4, 25w3d) I was hanging out on the couch with my hand resting on my side. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my hand jump – and realized it coincided with a big kick. I watched as my hand jumped again, and I quickly called Paul over. He put his hand where I showed him and a few seconds later, he felt his son give a mighty kick! He gasped and kind of giggled as he got a couple more punches in quick succession. The look on Paul’s face is something I will never forget. He continues to be impressed with how quickly the baby moves inside me – Paul assumes that it’s all dreamy water-world in there, not karate practice!
  • Nursery: Progress in the nursery is still slow. But we have a deadline now – the carpet installation has been scheduled for Saturday May 1. So painting the nursery will more than likely happen the weekend of the 24-25 of April. Which means the clean-out portion of the program has to be finished by then! I’ve given up the dream of re-painting the baseboards in the house before the carpet goes in – just too much other prep to be done, since it’s like we have to move out of the house to have the carpet installed anyway. I’m excited that things will finally be moving visibly forward, but trepidatious at all the work that has to happen before then. I’m looking forward to having something to show friends and family when they’re out for the shower!
  • Baby Shower: To my knowledge, no RSVPs have been received for the baby shower that’s in just over a month. Starting to wonder if anyone wants to celebrate this kid…or see the nursery! (On Edit: I didn’t realize that my BFF Lisa has been *dying* with a cold, allergies and asthma all ganging up on her at once and then sticking around. I’m sure that the RSVPs are being well-tracked. She’s just been a little too sick of late to pass them on to me! That said, feel free to comment here after you’ve RSVP’d either way!)
  • Daycare: One day last week after I got out of class, Paul joined me for a tour of the daycare that I’d toured a couple of months ago. He was as impressed as I was, and feels comfortable about placing our baby there when the time comes that we’re both working again. Not sure when that will be, but I wanted Paul to tour the place and see what I was so excited about. It was pretty neat watching him check out all the babies in the infant room. He doesn’t get this panicked look anymore, more interested than anything. Which I think is a big step in the right direction. He had much the same look on his face last week when he finally met Caroline’s little girl here in the office.
  • I guess that’s about it. Other than feeling pretty tired in the evenings (and right around 3:00 every afternoon) I’m feeling pretty good. Definitely feel pregnant, and it’s an interesting experience to say the least!

General Update (25w)

It occurs to me that I should update, but there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot going on. Three weeks between appointments means there’s a slow-down in news, and right now things are mostly at a status quo. Almost boring – at least in comparison to earlier times when so much was happening.

The little man kicks like a fiend. Doesn’t hurt at all, but I’ve had a couple of jabs that have stopped me mid-thought or mid-sentence to look down at my belly. I’m positive that if I didn’t have all my extra padding that Paul would be able to feel stuff now. I don’t have his ‘schedule’ down yet – dunno if he actually has one. Some nights he’s up and bouncing when I lay down in bed, other nights I’m pretty sure he’s gone to bed before me! He’s rarely awake when I get up in the morning – takes after his Mama for sleeping in. I feel him at random times during the day. I’m a little sad to say it’s become commonplace now. It’s still nifty as heck, but I don’t sit in awe of my belly all day.

Speaking of my belly: wow. Getting big. I’m really seeing some growth there. My shirts are all starting to get tight, and even co-workers are noticing (and commenting) that I’m growing. I’m torn between freaking out about any gain in size, and being happy that my belly is getting noticeably bigger. Paul’s mom swears (after examining me in my maternity swimsuit) that I’ve lost inches in other places, but I can’t tell. I’m just impressed that my uterus is so noticeable now. It’s between my belly button and sternum, and I can totally feel it’s soccer ball size and hardness. I just might actually *look* pregnant at some point in all of this. I’m feeling kicks up higher too, which is kinda nifty – I can tell the little guy is getting bigger just by how far he can stretch!

Fashion be damned: I’m currently wearing black yoga pants, a green/brown/black/cream tunic and Men’s size 12 lilac Croc shoes. I have a pair in gold too, but they’re a size 11 and if it’s a busy day they’re too tight by the evening. (Hey, you take what you can get at the Outlet. I was looking for size, not style.) The swelling on my feet and ankles continues – and isn’t going down as much overnight as it used to. Dr. Schwartz still is OK with it – and assures me that it’s normal. My hands and face aren’t swelling at all – so that’s the checksum of this whole thing. Pre-eclampsia is marked by rapid swelling of the face and/or hands or extreme swelling of the legs (usually with one being far worse than the other.) Granted, some nights I question what ‘extreme’ swelling actually looks like. But I comfort myself with the knowledge that my 9-5 job at a desk all day is just about the worst thing I could do if trying to prevent swelling, so at least I know part of what’s contributing to it. We’re all on guard for other symptoms, but for now I’m just ugly from the shins down. Thus, I have embraced the Clown Shoes (that are 3 sizes larger than I normally wear…)

Progress in the nursery is moving slowly. We’re almost to where we can paint. I’m hoping to have the carpet installed towards the end of April. It’s gotta be in the couple of weeks before the shower so we have time to put the house back together before everyone is here. But since we don’t have to have the install on a weekend anymore, that opens up the schedule some. Paul is making good progress on several projects at home, so I can’t complain. (Especially since there isn’t a whole lot I can do to help him with most of it!)

I’m INCREDIBLY looking forward to the Baby Shower. It’s going to be a great weekend of friends and family – lots of whom are coming in from California (and Arizona!) I can’t wait to see Oin & Cynthia, Sean & Kristy, and of course Lisa & Mike! (Also: cake. I’m really looking forward to cake.) I’m very glad that Paul will be at the shower, as will several guy friends. I’ve struggled for this entire pregnancy to find ways to include Paul, and this shower is certainly a big one! It’s his baby too, no reason why he shouldn’t get to participate in the celebration of his kid!

I have to say though, when I really get to thinking about it, I’m just overwhelmed that it’s happening at all. It’s easy for me to get caught up in the day-to-day of being pregnant, and forget sometimes just how amazing this all is. Paul and I had absolutely given up hope that we were going to have kids. I worked hard for years to get myself to a place where I was OK with that. (Sean & Kristy can attest to many conversations exploring God’s plans and how they’re frequently hard to understand…) But looking at the little teddy bear-shaped invitation with our names on it, or looking at the registry we’ve built for our son, or even just typing those words “our son” chokes me up. This is really happening. It’s awesome and incredible and scary as hell all at the same time. And I am so so so incredibly happy that Paul and I are in this together. I can’t wait to see Paul’s son in his arms. And no matter how our situation may be right now, I’m confident that we’re going to be just fine, and a happy little family.

And speaking of the little family, here we are last weekend after the Jefferson Jackson Democratic Party dinner, where Al Gore was keynote speaker.

Late March, 2010 - 6months

Appointment Update (23w6d)

Boring appointment with my little jerk. :)

He refuses to cooperate with the nurses to give a decent ultrasound. They wanted to take more measurements today, but he wasn’t having any of it. They were finally able to check out his heart, but not as thoroughly as they’d like to. He just will.not.move into a position that gives them what they need. He likes to hide directly under *my* belly button. But our little guy is looking good, and is measuring only like 2 days ahead at this point – so that’s fantastic. He’s weighing in at 1lb 4oz. (Dr. Schwartz says his growth probably slowed down a touch because we have an even tighter grip on my blood sugars now.)

But my BP was good (for me) especially considering that I was in so much pain in my boobs this morning I was near tears. So a 138/84 was cause for celebration. (Dunno what the crazy breast pain is… but it’s tear-inducing. I was literally in tears on the drive over this morning. Heat seems to make it better, after a while. Dr. Schwartz says it’s basically normal, nothing can be done.)

I gained 6 pounds. So that’s two pounds a week since my last appointment where I was positive I’d gained 5 pounds and had only gained a half-pound; for 11 total in 24 weeks. I don’t know how I feel about that. Except that I’m saying at least one pound is in my swollen feet & ankles, and another pound in each of my boobs. Dr. Schwartz said not to be concerned about it when I emailed him this afternoon.

We talked about my swollen feet, ankles, and wrists. Dr. Schwartz checked the swelling (so glad I remembered to shave this morning) and pronounced that “Yes, you’re just one of those lucky ones who swells!” which isn’t great news, but sure beats “OMFG, you’re swelling to a crazy, worrisome extent!” He assures me that the carpal tunnel will go away once I pop this kid out.

We talked about my crazy dreams & nightmares. I have a really strong family history of depression, so I’m on the alert for PPD and am concerned that if my brainmeats are responding to pregnancy hormones in this way now, does that mean I’m more susceptible to PPD later? He doesn’t think this is a indicator, but he wants to keep a close eye on me and wants me to tell him if the timbre of my dreams changes to any darker than it is now. (For example, the corpses that I’m trying to hide of the people I’ve killed… I didn’t *see* myself kill them, I just know I did. If I start to actually see myself kill someone or want to kill someone…. Dr. Schwartz wants to know.) So I find it really reassuring that he’s taking this as seriously as I am. I’m willing to go on meds if he thinks it’s necessary, but for right now I just want my husband and OB on alert to help me be watching for changes.

Other than that, nothing to report. We got pics on a CD from the ultrasound, but I haven’t had a chance to look at them. Our little man looked at us several times, so I think we have a face shot or two.

Next appointment is in three weeks on April 14th, and then I’ll prolly go back to every 2 weeks. Non-stress tests will start between 32 and 34 weeks.