Monthly Archives: June 2010

Whole New World (18 hours)

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14

We cannot begin to describe the last 18 hours. Our lives have changed irrevocably for the better, and even now we cannot imagine our lives without our little man. (Who still doesn’t have a name.)

Baby is doing great. I’m doing very well, up and around this afternoon with the nurses’ permission. I’m looking forward to a shower later this afternoon. Paul has been incredible with all my needs, and changing diapers and just everything. I am so blessed by both my men.

Nursing is going well. The lactation consultant was in first thing this morning while I was struggling to get the little man to latch on. Her help was invaluable, and he had his longest feed so far.

Our son is peaceful and content. We are besotted. We’ve never known love like this before for each other, or for anyone else. Nothing prepares you for the overwhelming love you feel at that first cry. This has been without a doubt, the best day of our lives.

The vital stats:

  • Born: 6:56pm on Tuesday June 29, 2010 by Cesarean section
  • Weight: 6lb 4oz
  • Length: 19.5″, with an impressive conehead, so we expect him to lose .5 to 1″ (he’s already rounding out nicely today.)
  • Hair: yes, medium brown
  • Eyes: bluish-silvery-green (they’ll fix on something in 6 months or so.)
  • APGARS: 8 and 9

    • Paul has started taking pictures and put a few up in a gallery. We’ll continue to share our journey, but pardon us if we get a little caught up just holding our sweet baby boy this week. In the meantime, please oogle our beautiful son by clicking below.

    Flowers from Cassie and Kurt. Thanks, Aunt Cassie & Uncle Kurt!

Storytime? (37w)

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20

We have been incredibly blessed by friends and family during this pregnancy and showered with gifts. Our nursery is in fantastic shape, just waiting for us to bring our little man home in a few days.

Except for one thing, that I’m really only realizing now with all the parenting and baby care stuff I’m reading. (My reading material has shifted from pregnancy-related to labor/delivery and now to ‘how the heck do we take care of this thing?’ type titles and magazines.) We have like NO BOOKS for the little guy. Apparently we’re supposed to start reading to him nearly immediately – and seriously, we have like two books! (Including Goodnight Moon.)

So, friends and family: suggestions please! We’re huge fans of Amazon, but the selection is so overwhelming when I go to look at kid’s books. I need guidance! What do you have fond memories of reading to your children? What books do your babies/toddlers/kids love? What book will you go all Van Gogh on yourself if you have to read aloud one more time? I’ll probably just build a huge wishlist to whittle down with all your suggestions, so all types of books are welcome – stuff to read to baby, stuff to let baby actually get his moist little hands on: all of it!

Thanks in advance once again for your help, everyone. I cannot believe that the little critter that is kicking me on the inside as I type this will be on the outside in a matter of a day or two.

Cleared for Launch (36w6d)

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9

Today was my last prenatal appointment. Short and sweet.

  • BP: 154/97 both times
  • Fluid: 5.7 in only two pockets (dunno if that’s good that they were big, or bad that there were only two.)
  • Monitoring: Little man seemed content to kick at the monitors, so he didn’t need to be buzzed.
  • Group B Strep test was positive, so I’ll need 2-3 doses of antibiotics during the course of labor. No big deal, just one more thing going into the IV.

    • We chatted for a bit with our favorite nurse, Paula. She’s a neat lady. Hugs all around when we left.

    So we’re cleared to arrive at the hospital at 7:30 on Sunday. This is getting very real all of the sudden.

Still here (36w4d)

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5

Quick & Dirty update:

  • BP was 155/99, so in the unhappy-ish range and up from Monday.
  • Monitoring went well (no buzzer needed)
  • Fluid is back up a bit to 5.7 (although Dr. Schwartz told us on Monday that he has a sneaking suspicion my fluid has always been a little higher than AFI readings are saying – just because on someone of my shape and size there’s more ‘nooks and crannies’ for fluid to hide in. Doesn’t make visualizing them or getting to them for an amnio any easier – but it does explain why he hasn’t been all Chicken Little like the nurses for the last two weeks.)
  • Gave blood and pee to re-check stuff and was sent home (as opposed to the hospital.)

If I wasn’t scheduled for induction on Sunday, they’d be having me do a 24-hour urine starting tomorrow. So thank God for small favors.

Worrisome upper belly pains + increasing headache + vision changes are making Dr. Schwartz look at me funny, but he let me go home today, so I consider that a victory. It’s possible the lab results will change that tomorrow, but we’re thinking positive. In the meantime, I’m trying to lay low – which is fairly easy today cuz I kinda feel like crap between an upset tummy, headache and the upper belly pains.

I guess I should clarify that the induction on Sunday isn’t something we’re expecting to go especially quickly. At not quite 37 weeks, I’m high and tight (not dilated or effaced at all) so I’m assuming it’s gonna take at least the full 12-hour cycle of the Cervidil to get things moving, if not a second round. (Our prepared childbirth instructors warned that it’s not at all uncommon for two rounds of Cervidil to be needed for induction before 38 weeks.) I’m not contracting anymore though, thank goodness. If the contractions from the amniocentesis had continued more than 8 hours or so, that would have been a problem. So while a shared birthday with Daddy is possible for June 30th, I’m not aiming for it. Personally, I think the little guy is gonna arrive on the 29th – but the 28th would be even better! As always – safe and healthy baby and Mama is all we’re after, however that comes about.

I’m back at Dr. Schwartz’s office on Friday for monitoring and possibly an amniocentesis if there’s a big fluid pocket that the doc of the day (not Dr. Schwartz) feels like trying to stab at. (Uug, that sounds gross, doesn’t it?) I’ll say goodbye to the girls in the office who we’ve gotten friendly with (I swear, it’s like Cheers when we come in now: a chorus of “Hi, Sarah” wafts out of the back.) If I end up with a Cesarean, I’ll be in the office for a follow-up at two weeks. If I manage to do a vaginal birth, I won’t see anyone in Dr. Schwartz’s office (including Dr. Schwartz) for six weeks. (He’ll still manage my insulin and meds during that time, but we’ll do that via email only.)

So, in the meantime I plug away at work stuff and Paul tries to keep me from working too hard. :)

Roller Coaster (36w3d)

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3

Poor Paul. I’m having a rough week, so he’s having a rough week.

I assume it’s the pregnancy hormones that are responsible for this. But I’m crying at the drop of a hat. Not at Hallmark commercials or anything (although I did cry at the end of Deadliest Catch this evening.) I just am feeling overwhelmed with the enormity of the changes that are coming towards us. It’s making me cry, a lot, and I don’t like it.

I know Paul and I will be good parents. It’s not that. I know we can care for this baby. I know we’ll be able to handle the upcoming sleepless nights. I know we’ll find a stride with eating, sleeping, & pooping ad nauseum. We’ll get the hang of swaddling. We have diapers (cloth and disposable in newborn sizes) and clothes and dinners for us in our freezer. We’re as ready as we can be on that front.

It’s just…. there’s a lot riding on me these days. My physical endurance and ability to hold my proverbial shit together for another couple of days makes a huge difference in how the first days and weeks of my child’s life will go. My ability to breastfeed him will make a huge difference in his first hours/days/months, and in our finances for the foreseeable future. (The thought of paying for formula strikes fear into my heart – let alone the fact that I don’t want to give my baby formula to begin with.) I’m pushing myself to put up full-time hours at work to keep from burning my paid leave, to keep earning paid leave & benefits at a full-time rate, and to keep bringing home full-time checks. We’re doing OK financially, but not as OK as we were. This was known and expected, it’s just hard to feel the creeping slide. The buck literally and figuratively stops with me in my personal and professional life and I’m feeling the pressure of it more acutely than usual.

I’m a planner. I’m a do-er. Everyone turns to me because I’m usually right, and I do things very well. And for the most part, this works for me. I’m an overbearing bitch by default, so my take-charge attitude serves me well for the most part. But the flip side to this means that I’m lousy at “letting go” and letting other people do things. I’m used to making sure stuff gets done. So these last few weeks of being told to stop doing so much and let others do things and “go with the flow” and “just let it happen” has been making me crazy. For some people, this sounds like a vacation. For me? It’s akin to torture. (Yes, I’m sure this is indicative of some sort of trust issues that I need to work through or something.) But knowing that I’m in control of very little about my body and my mind these days is a very bitter pill for someone like me to swallow. Knowing that come Sunday evening, I will have no control over anything, that I’ll be at the mercy of IVs and Drugs and Doctors.

And then the wild and amazing world of parenthood awaits. I’m happy and excited to be riding this particular roller coaster with Paul at my side… but it’s like that coaster that you *know* you wanted to ride, and everyone says is TEH BEST THING EVAR – but it doesn’t make you question your sanity for wanting to ride it any less as you clank-clank-clank up that first huge hill, and it doesn’t make it any less scary as you tip over the top and all you can see is sky before the track comes up at you again and you’re off on the most thrilling, exciting ride you’ve ever taken.

Paul and I stood in line for a long-ass time to get on this ride. But this first hill is a doozy, and I’m freaking out a little bit. So pardon me if I scream on the way down. I’m sure I’ll be laughing by the first turn – but until then, the anticipation of what’s over that first hill is a little scary.