Looking forward (27w2d)

There’s a park that I pass every morning on my way to work – it’s just before I get on the freeway. I’ve passed this park hundreds (probably thousands) of times now, but especially on weekends now I find myself smiling as I pass.

There’s three covered picnic tables with barbecues that are in use just about every weekend for what I presume are birthday parties. Seeing the gazebo covers decorated with streamers and balloons and the table piled high with food and gifts makes me look forward to the future. I remember birthdays in the park when I was very small. It never occurred to me that we might one day have birthday parties there at the park as well.

I can imagine a party with a cake with a dinosaur on it (yes, my kid is gonna love dinosaurs – Mama has spoken) and hot dogs on the barbecue, with my little guy running around in shorts, glossy curls bouncing as he chases a friend with a fluorescent-colored squirt gun. I can hear his laughter drifting to me on the warm summer breeze.

I never, ever thought about stuff like this before. Well, not in many years. It was just torture to think about what would never be ours. But now I smile every time I pass the park and wonder what color the dinosaur should be.

Speaking of the shower…. (27w1d)

My shower is Saturday May 15th, just less than a month away. My best friend Lisa and in-laws are hosting it.

So um… if you received an invitation and haven’t RSVP’d directly to Lisa yet – could ya take a minute and do that? You can e-mail her directly from the link at the top of the Baby Shower page or her phone number is listed on the invite.

Even if you’ve mentioned something in a Facebook comment or whatnot, RSVPing directly to Lisa would be greatly appreciated. :)

Thanks!!

Dr. Happy’s reality check (27w1d)

I had my regularly scheduled appointment on Wednesday morning, the last of my 3 week appointments. It was a simple appointment, no bloodwork, no ultrasound to speak of, nothing major – just checking in.

First the good news: I gained 3 pounds since my last appointment. I was TOTALLY expecting more, because I feel so much bigger. But Paul concurs with his mom that apparently I’m shrinking in other places. As he (ever so lovingly) put it, I’m “less flabby” than before. I get what he meant though – places that were flabbier are – well…. full of baby now, so they’re filled out. (I’ve got stretch marks to prove it!) I was THRILLED to hear that I’d only gained 3 pounds. I like to think that I’m making good choices with what I eat and portion control – but it’s so hard to tell when I’m SO farking hungry, and when I keep gaining weight, regardless of what I eat. So yay me. I’m up a total of 12 pounds so far. Everyone is happy about that. The little guy should start putting on an average of a half pound a week here soon – so steady continued weight gain is expected.

My blood pressure was a little on the high side when I first got into the exam room, but when taken again at the end of the appointment was down to a happy-making 128/83. So the meds are still working as they should, which is awesome.

We didn’t really get a look at the little guy. The nurse this time was all business and only even remembered to turn on the speakers so we could hear the heartbeat after she’d already found it. The stallions were galloping at 142 bpm.

Dr. Schwartz was pleased to see that my blood sugars were already coming back down now that my stress level has reduced quite a bit. Between finishing off the horrific, unending server install/migration at work (I worked 4 weekends in a row…. I’m still trying to catch up on rest) and Paul finding a contract programming gig – my stress has gone down a lot. My blood sugars are almost back into the happy range they were 5 weeks ago. Dr. Schwartz upped my evening regular insulin by 2 units, so nothing major. He and I are still expecting to see more insulin resistance as the pregnancy progresses, so I’m prepared for more insulin bumps.

But then Dr. Scarypants arrived and started preaching. Basically what Dr. Schwartz told us is that now that I’m in my 3rd trimester (which started either today or a week ago, depending on who you ask) that the gloves are off. Dr. Schwartz doesn’t want to scare me, but he felt the need to reinforce the fact that I *am* a very high risk pregnancy. And while I’ve done fantastic so far, the likelihood of me getting all the way through this pregnancy, let alone with no complications is slim to none. He believes I *will* get pre-eclampsia – it’s simply a question of when and how severely. He reminded me that there’s nothing I can do to prevent pre-eclampsia, and there’s nothing I’ve done wrong that will make it happen. But someone of my size, first pregnancy, diabetic and hypertensive just *will* get it. Nothing you can do but pray for a miracle.

So now we live with goals. The first goal is to get to 30 weeks. Then to get to 32 weeks. Then to get to 36 weeks. And after 36 weeks – he could deliver me anytime. Dr. Schwartz warned me that he expects to put me on modified bed rest at some point which means I’ll need to modify my work schedule – if I’m able to go to work at all anymore. I may be reduced to working from home, which severely limits what I can do. (It’s hard to do Accounts Payable when the invoices have to stay at the office, ya know?) He didn’t rule out the possibility of needing to hospitalize me towards the end. (That’s my idea of hell there, kids.)

So for now we keep doing what we’re doing. Taking it as easy as possible, treating myself and baby well, eating as well as I can manage, exercising moderately (although he strongly cautioned me against over-doing it even by a little bit) and trying to stay calm. Each day my blood pressure stays below scary levels is one more day my little man gets to cook in his first apartment.

I’ll be honest, the thing that freaks me out the most is being told I can’t work. We cannot afford to not have me working, especially for weeks before the baby comes. That will just eat into the meager paid leave reserves I have. (Yes, my work is willing to adjust my schedule as necessary – but seriously, I can’t do half my duties from home.) But stressing isn’t going to help anything, so I try not to dwell on it.

I’m back to two week appointments now, and will drop down to one week intervals after 30 weeks or so. So next appointment is April 28th. Then I’ll have one right before my shower – which is in less than a month!

Other stuff too! (26w)

I am SO excited about our prenatal classes that start next month!

Prepared Childbirth (How the heck does this thing get outta me?!?!)
Thursdays from 6:00-9:00PM May 6, 13 & 20
St. Rose Home Health 1125 American Pacific, Suite G,

St. Rose Siena Hospital Tour and Registration (Where I’ll deliver in July)
Mon 05/24/2010 6:00 PM -6:20 PM
3001 St. Rose Pkwy

Baby Basics (Ok, we have the kid – now what do we do with it?)
Wed 05/26/2010 6:00 PM -9:00 PM
Henderson WomensCare Center 100 N. Green Valley Parkway Suite 330

Breastfeeding (It may be natural, but I’m told it ain’t easy!)
Wed 06/09/2010 6:00 PM -8:30 PM
Henderson WomensCare Center 100 N. Green Valley Parkway Suite 330

Paul will be attending all the classes too – although he’s worried he’ll be the only guy at the breastfeeding class. The sign up says guys are welcome, and everything I’ve read about breastfeeding says that the more involved Dad is, the better the chances the little man and I have of success.

AND, today after class (first one done on the extra credit assignment, WOO WOO!) I went to Target to poke at stuff and look for a baby book. To my surprise, the Pack & Play I’ve got on our registry (that’s supposed to be online-only) was in store, and set up! I was so tickled to see it in person – I pulled it off the display and gave it the full inspection. (No, I didn’t put it back up on the display myself.) I absolutely LOVE it! The design is super cute, with little embroidered bees – and the features are just great with the flip-over changing tray and the diaper-supply tray. Combine all that with the fantastic price of $99 – my frugal (ok, cheap!) little heart is all a-flutter!

I can’t believe how fast things seem to be moving now. We’re down to double digits on our countdown ticker! There’s so much still left to do, but yet we’re both starting to get excited to meet this little guy who has already taken over our lives!

Another Update (25w6d)

How has it been another week already? Let’s see what’s new in the last week…

  • Blood Sugars: I’m concerned about my blood sugars. They’ve been really pretty good for quite a while now. My last a1c test (long-term blood sugar report card) was a smashing 6.0. But since my last appointment, my sugars have gone back up. I’m eating basically the same stuff, no real changes. If anything I’m not eating as often, but I’m eating larger meals when I do. I’m avoiding eating in the middle of the night when I get up to pee and find myself starving. But my fasting sugars are much higher than they used to be (averaging 110-ish or higher) and my post-breakfast sugars look even worse as a consequence. That’s the really frustrating part – I eat the same three things for breakfast every morning during the week. But for some reason now my blood sugar is blasting up 70-100 points after breakfast, as opposed to the 30-50 points it did before. (I take my morning whopping dose of insulin and then eat breakfast within 20-40 minutes.) I know this will be a big discussion topic at my next appointment. I’m aware that as the pregnancy continues that it’s not uncommon to have some impressive insulin resistance, but I’m concerned that this seemed to come on so suddenly. I’m kinda hoping that it has a bit to do with my stress levels of late. I’ve had a big project at work hanging over me for a couple of weeks now – a server install/migration that has gone wrong in every way possible. Hopefully this weekend will be the end of it – if not, my job might be on the line… so maybe if I get rid of this stress, my sugars will behave? Here’s hoping.
  • Weight Gain: I have no idea how much I’ve gained since my last appointment, but I can’t imagine it will be good. I don’t know how to deal with the fact that I’m getting bigger. Everything in my life has always been about *not* getting bigger at any cost – so mentally I have no mechanism to deal with these changes. I’m not contemplating dieting or anything… but I live in fear of that scale at Dr. Schwartz’s office. For the record, I don’t feel like I’m getting bigger anywhere but my belly and boobs – but what the hell do I know?
  • Swelling: Some days are better than others. I’m always swollen in my feet and ankles to some extent, with the left being more swollen than the right. (Not to an alarming extent, but I notice it.) If I spend an inordinate amount of time with my feet up, the swelling will go down some, but when I wake up in the morning, things are still swollen. That said, I have three pairs of shoes I can rotate through depending on how bad the swelling is on a given day. My hands and face remain un-puffy, which is good since that is a sign of pre-eclampsia. My wrists are still pretty swollen though, so the carpel tunnel issues continue, and actually seem to be getting worse. I’m looking into braces or something to help with this, since I can’t do anything about my job that requires me to be on a computer all day.
  • Names: We have a list of 23 names we’re working on. Not sure if this list is the final list though. I’m still on the lookout for a good baby-naming book and always listening for a good name. Those who have glanced at our list have been surprised at how ‘normal’ the names are. I guess people thought we would be naming the kid something from Star Trek or Canterbury Tales? (Geoffrey Tiberius, anyone?)
  • Kicks: Our little man is a dancing, kicking, punching, rolling, whirling dervish. I have no real idea what appendage is whunking me at any given time, but I feel him all throughout the day these days. Sometimes when he’s really on a tear it can be hard to concentrate on other things for all the activity in my belly! I’m pretty sure I had a little baby bum sticking out to the right of my belly button yesterday morning though. I was re-familiarizing myself with myself in the mirror before hopping in the shower, and noticed a lump about the size of a tennis ball to the right of my belly button. I poked at it, but it didn’t do anything. It was gone after my shower though! (As I’m writing this, he’s kicking at opposite ends of my belly – I wish I could see what on earth he’s doing in there!)
  • Kicks, part II: Paul felt the baby kick on Easter Sunday! (April 4, 25w3d) I was hanging out on the couch with my hand resting on my side. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my hand jump – and realized it coincided with a big kick. I watched as my hand jumped again, and I quickly called Paul over. He put his hand where I showed him and a few seconds later, he felt his son give a mighty kick! He gasped and kind of giggled as he got a couple more punches in quick succession. The look on Paul’s face is something I will never forget. He continues to be impressed with how quickly the baby moves inside me – Paul assumes that it’s all dreamy water-world in there, not karate practice!
  • Nursery: Progress in the nursery is still slow. But we have a deadline now – the carpet installation has been scheduled for Saturday May 1. So painting the nursery will more than likely happen the weekend of the 24-25 of April. Which means the clean-out portion of the program has to be finished by then! I’ve given up the dream of re-painting the baseboards in the house before the carpet goes in – just too much other prep to be done, since it’s like we have to move out of the house to have the carpet installed anyway. I’m excited that things will finally be moving visibly forward, but trepidatious at all the work that has to happen before then. I’m looking forward to having something to show friends and family when they’re out for the shower!
  • Baby Shower: To my knowledge, no RSVPs have been received for the baby shower that’s in just over a month. Starting to wonder if anyone wants to celebrate this kid…or see the nursery! (On Edit: I didn’t realize that my BFF Lisa has been *dying* with a cold, allergies and asthma all ganging up on her at once and then sticking around. I’m sure that the RSVPs are being well-tracked. She’s just been a little too sick of late to pass them on to me! That said, feel free to comment here after you’ve RSVP’d either way!)
  • Daycare: One day last week after I got out of class, Paul joined me for a tour of the daycare that I’d toured a couple of months ago. He was as impressed as I was, and feels comfortable about placing our baby there when the time comes that we’re both working again. Not sure when that will be, but I wanted Paul to tour the place and see what I was so excited about. It was pretty neat watching him check out all the babies in the infant room. He doesn’t get this panicked look anymore, more interested than anything. Which I think is a big step in the right direction. He had much the same look on his face last week when he finally met Caroline’s little girl here in the office.
  • I guess that’s about it. Other than feeling pretty tired in the evenings (and right around 3:00 every afternoon) I’m feeling pretty good. Definitely feel pregnant, and it’s an interesting experience to say the least!