Tag Archives: emotional hoo-ha

Amniocentesis FAIL (36w2d)

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So my fluid was at an all-time low of 4.5 today, and even with Dr. Schwartz’s Jedi-like skills, the amniocentesis couldn’t be completed today. There was one tiny (1.2cm) pocket he was aiming for, but the kid kept putting his arm there when Dr. Schwartz got close with the needle. Paul watched on the monitor as they tried and tried to get into the pocket they were aiming at.

I got jabbed twice though. Not as bad as I thought it would be at all. The pressure was the worst part – until the contractions started. (It’s two hours later and they’re still happening…) It wasn’t pleasant by any means, but I’m not shaking in my boots at the prospect of another one.

So the plan is to wait another week. Since we can’t absolutely confirm that the little guy’s lungs are mature enough to be on the outside, we hang out. I’m still doing OK enough (surprisingly) that we have time before things get to a crisis point. So we’ll continue monitoring me this week, and on Friday I’ll be checked by one of the other doctors in the office. If he sees a big pocket of fluid, they’ll probably go ahead and attempt an amnio – but if not, it’s not a problem. I’m scheduled to arrive at the hospital at 7:30 on Sunday evening to start the induction. Dr. Schwartz will come straight from the airport on Monday morning to check on me, and we’ll take it from there. (Friday’s potential amnio would only be to tell us something wasn’t right – not to give us the go-ahead to induce. The default now has been flipped to induce, as opposed to waiting for confirmation.)

We were pretty disappointed. Paul and I had worked this weekend to get ourselves to a good head space for having the kid today. We felt ready. (well, as ready as one can feel…) So it was a pretty big let down today, and Dr. Schwartz recognized that. But we agree with him that discretion is the better part of valor and to err on the side of caution is a much better way to go right now. Paul is concerned for me having to stick it out another week, but I’m fine. Letting the little man have an extra week is all to the good for him, and I can put up with basically anything for another 6 days.

I’ll be going in to start the induction process at 7:30 on Sunday June 27. It’s entirely possible that the whole process will take 2-3 days. Paul’s birthday is Wednesday the 30th. Could be fun if his son shares his birthday. (Considering Paul was born on his parent’s 3rd anniversary.)

For now though, we’re finally back home. The appointment today was over three hours long with 30 minutes of monitoring before and after the amnio. We know what a contraction looks like on the monitor now! I’m dead on my feet and in a fair amount of pain in my upper-mid back and from the continuing contractions, so I’m gonna lay down for a nap. I’ll be working the rest of this week, so I will be staying busy between monitoring appointments on Wednesday and Friday afternoons.

Sorry for the big build up to nothing, folks.

Possible change in plans… (35w2d)

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Today’s appointment for monitoring was pretty darned good. I walked in feeling better than I have in a while. Excellent blood pressure again (147/90) and after some not-so-gentle prodding, good numbers from the kid on the monitoring strip. (He did not appreciate me chugging half a bottle of ice water to get him to move and getting my whole belly woggled by the nurse.) Trace amounts of protein in the urine (up from zero) but not OMG either.

The bad part comes during the ultrasound where they’re measuring the amniotic fluid around the boy. The levels should be around 14 on average, with 5-25 being the extreme low and high ends of the scale. Anything at or below 5 is cause for major concern. I’ve been sliding down that scale and was at a 6 on Wednesday and Friday last week. I forced fluids this weekend, making sure I was taking in well over 100 ounces a day in the hopes of bumping up that number.

Today all the head nurse could get was 4.8 – and that was after 20 minutes of looking and looking all over. So the oligohydramnios is very much in affect. What exactly this means, we’re not sure. We know it ain’t good, but the fact that this is happening towards the end of the pregnancy as opposed to towards the beginning is good. If it were at the beginning, it would be because of some abnormality with the baby. Now it’s just a culmination of my pre-existing medical conditions: hypothyroidism, hypertension & diabetes.

Dr. Schwartz is in his other office across town today and tomorrow, so they called him while we were at the office to see what he wanted to do. We were sure he was gonna send me over to the hospital. But he asked to see me in his other office tomorrow instead. So we’re taking that as a sign that there’s no need to totally freak out just yet. Mostly what oligohydramnios means at this point is that delivery is gonna be a bit more complicated and the chances of a cesarean are probably higher. There isn’t anything they can really do to reverse it – like putting me on a saline IV to pump me full of fluids or something. (There are some therapies that involve pumping fluid directly into the placenta, but those are mostly for use *during* labor.) There isn’t enough amniotic fluid around the baby to *do* an amniocentesis – so we don’t know how much that will blow out next week’s plans. With such decreased levels of fluid/cushioning around the baby right now, the chances of him laying on his umbilical cord and squashing his blood/oxygen/nutrient flow increase. This is where I am SO GLAD that I completely trust Dr. Schwartz and his knowledge/experience in treating high risk women like me. Whatever he says tomorrow is OK with us. If he still wants me to try for a regular birth, I’m all for it – but if this situation necessitates a cesarean from the get-go, we’re OK with that too. Whatever gets our little man out safely.

So this afternoon and this evening are final prep, just in case. All bags are being packed (we were doing laundry this morning already) and final arrangements are being made. I’m gonna try to go get my nails done. Gonna get the Ragu Bolognese made and in the freezer, along with the Creamy Italian Chicken. (There’s a lot of simmering involved there – I’m not gonna be slaving over a stove.) We’re hoping that Murphy’s Law will kick in if we get all this stuff done tonight. Paul is pretty anxious, but I’m doing pretty OK. I am keenly aware that I need to stay calm, and having tasks to focus on helps me greatly with that.

We’ll update tomorrow after the appointment here and on Facebook. (Facebook will probably get updated faster because it’s easier to do from our phones.) We’re halfway expecting to be told to go to the hospital from our 9:00am appointment. I’m all the more glad that we have a 7:45am appointment to meet the pediatrician tomorrow. Gonna be a busy day. Prayers would be appreciated.

Weekend Plans (35w)

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I have to keep reminding myself that this weekend isn’t necessarily our “last” weekend. I’m thinking it would be nice for Paul and I to go out or something – like on a date while we still can, either this weekend or next weekend. We’ll see.

This weekend is errands and more prep.

  • I have a coupon for USA Baby for 20% off any one thing. I called, and that includes breast pumps – which is unheard of. Babies R Us (BRU) has a coupon right now for 15% off breast pumps, and I was crazy excited about that. But when the dang thing starts at $280, I’ll take another 5% and smile. The plan is to rent a hospital-grade pump for the first month, and then switch to the personal style if everything is working OK. If for whatever reason I can’t used the personal pump, I’ll return it since the box will be unopened. Yes, my cheapness knows no bounds.
  • Gotta swing by BRU anyway to try to exchange some clothes that we bought in April. They had an incredible sale that we took advantage of, as a hedge against the shower. I assumed most of it would get returned (or at least half) because of the bounty we got at the shower, but when Paul and I sorted through it all this week, he convinced me to keep all of it. There’s a couple of heavier terrycloth sleepers and an adorable sweatsuit that are in 6mo sizes that I’d like to swap for 9mo, since I’m afraid that the little man will be a size 6 in like September or October when it would still be too warm to wear them. I am hoping to keep my resolve and not make any other purchases while I’m there. Heh. We’ll see how that goes. (The little guy’s closet is pretty full now though – so I keep reminding myself of that.)
  • Groceries for dinners gotta happen today. I’m gonna make a couple of our favorite dinners in bulk this weekend (Ragu Bolognese and Creamy Italian Chicken at least) and freeze them in containers so we can have some home-cooked meals for a bit after the little guy comes home. So a bit of groceries and a grip of rubbermaid containers are on the list as well.

Other than that…. I’ve got one more load of baby laundry to do: all the receiving blankets and burp cloths and baby socks. I’ve been enjoying doing this laundry this week, folding and putting away the clothes that will be in the first pictures of my son’s life. Reveling in the fact that I have these tiny clothes at all in my house. Smiling smugly that I now have opinions on brands and know that Carter’s runs tall and skinny, Gerber runs even skinnier and smaller and Circo seems to be made for Amazons. Even with my rock-hard belly as a constant reminder, I’m still caught off guard by the knowledge that we’re having a baby.

I need to pack my hospital bag and the little bag for baby. We have a total of three Newborn sized outfits to choose from to bring the baby home in, and Paul already has veto’d one. (“My son isn’t coming home in something that looks suspiciously like a Dodgers uniform!”) That’s fine, one of remaining two outfits has stripes AND a dinosaur. I think we all know what the little guy will come home in. :)

This weekend we’ll build the bouncer and set up the Pack and Play – all the random stuff we’ve been putting off. Oh, and I’m bringing up the whole idea of actually having a name for the child several times a day. Not getting very far, but I figure Paul will get sick of me bugging him eventually and we’ll figure something out. hee!

Couple of Notes (34w5d)

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1) You may have noticed that the dates on the posts rolled back by two days. The actual count we’ve been using this whole time was based on an ultrasound dating from my 2nd ultrasound – way early on. My official due date never was changed from July 17th.

But now that the gestation date makes SO MUCH difference, I’m reverting back to the original count based strictly on the original due date. Mind you, the little man has measured all over the place based on ultrasounds – he was measuring more than 2 weeks ahead on length at one point. But Dr. Schwartz is going strictly by due date, so we are too.

2) Breastfeeding class was tonight, and it was fantastic!! I’ve been doing a lot of reading, research, and asking other mamas about BFing, but 3 hours with a lactation consultant that included a video of actual mothers breastfeeding their babies was SO helpful. The instructor sat with us after the class was over and answered our questions about how things will be different because our little guy is coming early. I learned that I do have the right to refuse formula at the hospital, no matter what the baby’s blood sugar is. No one is gonna be happy about it, but it’s my right. I’m not saying that I will refuse it absolutely, but I am SO glad to know that I can. If nursing and skin-to-skin contact doesn’t help his blood sugar, then *maybe* formula will be OK – but I want Paul and I to have the opportunity to try all other methods of helping our baby before resorting to something with 2-week repercussions, especially if he is stable enough to be nursing at all. (And to that end, if he’s not able to breastfeed for some reason, I can request he be fed through an NG tube or from a cup – he doesn’t *have* to get a bottle.)

2a) Dude, breastfeeding is freaking AMAZING. I am gonna be SUPERWOMAN – with the ability to give my baby EVERYTHING he needs. I am confident that my body will do what it’s supposed to do and that breastfeeding will go just great. I’m looking forward to it. Paul completely supports it.

2b) Melt-my-heart moment tonight: Paul asking the LC about how to do “Kangaroo Kare” with our little guy in case I have a cesarean or he ends up in the NICU. He’s planning on bringing button-down shirts to the hospital now so he can comfortably cuddle his son skin-to-skin.

3) I have a highly recommend pediatrician to call tomorrow to schedule an appointment with. I’ve been meaning to look for one, but just haven’t gotten around to it yet. Fixing that.

4) No, we still don’t have a name yet. We’re working on it. There’s a list. We’re not just holding out cuz we can. Really.

I think we’re both excited, but I know I’m a little freaked out. It’s not like there’s a ton of stuff to do still – but things just got REALLY real. There’s a date, and an appointment. Holy cats.

LOLercoaster + Tilt-a-Whirl (33w5d)

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I feel like I’m getting jerked around and I don’t like it.

Today everything seems to be fine! No really. Like according to everything today I’m barely pre-eclamptic. Apparently once you’re in the pre-eclamptic zone you don’t get out, but you can vary within the zone from mild to moderate to severe. Today I’m at the mild end. Which is great. My blood pressure was 147/97 today, as compared with 157/110 yesterday.*

Except: if I’m barely worse off than I was two weeks ago (no protein showing up on today’s dip stick) then why am I being forced to modify my work schedule and burn my precious paid leave for nothing? Why can’t I work at least half days in the office? (I’m wanting to be in the office because there’s stuff I can do there that I can’t do at home – the amount of stuff I have to do at home is finite and will get burned through in this next week for sure in order for me to keep up full-time hours.)

YES, OF COURSE I’m happy that things look rosier today. Healthier Mama means baby stays put which is a good thing. OF COURSE. This is just all very hard to take on 3 hours of sleep (cried myself to sleep finally last night and was up at 4:30am this morning) with hormone overload raging. I feel so completely out of control and that scares me and makes me angry.

Yes, I’m a control freak – but it’s not that. I literally feel like I’m being told different things each time I go in now and it’s hard to assimilate them all together and find a way to waddle through the next day or three before the next appointment where I’ll be told who-knows-what. Going with the flow when your health, your baby’s health, and your family’s financial stability are all on the line is really very difficult to do. And being constantly told to calm down and relax and just let everything in the world go doesn’t help. (I appreciate everyone’s support, really I do…. it’s just hard advice to follow.)

So for now, we’re stable (?) in this mild pre-eclamptic state. I did get the 2nd steroid shot today, so at least those are doing their thing – with their peak of efficacy in about 7 days. I’m planning on going into the office again tomorrow for a half day because there’s stuff I need to wrap up there still. Depending on how things go at my monitoring appointment on Monday, I may go into the office for a half day or two next week as well. I don’t feel that I’m pushing it to do that, especially if my blood pressure is barely higher than it was two weeks ago. If BP readings are creeping up, I’ll stay home. I have monitoring appointments M-W-F next week, and I actually see Dr. Schwartz on Wednesday. They’ll do a urine dip-stick at each appointment which I guess is the starting point for worry if it comes up with anything.

*To recap BP over the last few weeks for perspective:

Date
BP
June-3
147/97
June-2
157/110
May-26
155/97
May-19
131/83
Apr-28
138/85